Sorry to hear about your Grandma, Angie. Sympathies sent your way.
Aging Parents
- Thread starter JusHappy2BeHere
- Start date
Sorry to hear about your Grandma, Angie. Sympathies sent your way.
What kind of driving are they doing is it small town rural type driving or is it a more metropolitan area? My folks tag team drive each watching their own side to help double check the other. Also they have been fairly receptive to letting one of us kids drive if they head to a more congested area, but that takes time and scheduling. Good luck with your issues/challenges.
They are moving to the DSM metro to be closer to family. Mobility issues are real bad. If they hit someone, they couldn't get out to help. There spouse is much healthier and very able to drive
Thanks to @JusHappy2BeHere (OP) for starting a fantastic thread. This thread will probably set a record for most "Friendly" responses.
It's always good to occasionally think about those things that are really important in life, rather than who's leaving for the NBA and what round Butler gets drafted. I know for me, March 18 was a day of remembrance, as my Dad died 13 years ago that day.
The good part is that we are all fortunate to have that love in our lives, to have had such wonderful parents and families.
It's always good to occasionally think about those things that are really important in life, rather than who's leaving for the NBA and what round Butler gets drafted. I know for me, March 18 was a day of remembrance, as my Dad died 13 years ago that day.
The good part is that we are all fortunate to have that love in our lives, to have had such wonderful parents and families.
Thank you. We have arrangements the next three days - but working on her obituary and photos and all of that has been very therapeutic. There's always some drama, but the common denominator is that she just loved us all. I think it's like that with those we love best.
Yesterday my dad's Doctor told him he was ok to drive.... everyone else in the room responded in unison "IT IS NOT OK FOR YOU TO DRIVE!!!!!"
Just got an email from Mrs. JusHappy in North Carolina....
A New Day
So much for optimism. I got here this morning and they are barely speaking. She’s all in a huff because she can’t get exactly what she wants. Paul cut his banana’s in his oatmeal wrong. I microwaved the oatmeal and handed him his and asked if he wanted me to cut his bananas and he said yes. She asked wasn’t I going to cut up his bananas. I said “he said he wants to do it” and then she literally got snippy because he wasn’t doing it the way she does it. So I microwaved hers and asked if the consistency was right and brought her banana over. Did she want me to cut hers up – yes. That size? “well that will do but I do it smaller”. And they are not wanting to talk at all about the living situation.
Prayers people… I need prayers!
I think a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine are in order when she gets home to Texas.
A New Day
So much for optimism. I got here this morning and they are barely speaking. She’s all in a huff because she can’t get exactly what she wants. Paul cut his banana’s in his oatmeal wrong. I microwaved the oatmeal and handed him his and asked if he wanted me to cut his bananas and he said yes. She asked wasn’t I going to cut up his bananas. I said “he said he wants to do it” and then she literally got snippy because he wasn’t doing it the way she does it. So I microwaved hers and asked if the consistency was right and brought her banana over. Did she want me to cut hers up – yes. That size? “well that will do but I do it smaller”. And they are not wanting to talk at all about the living situation.
Prayers people… I need prayers!
I think a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine are in order when she gets home to Texas.
There's that drama. I hope she does okay - it's so hard, and thankless. I think you're awesome to do all of that when she gets home.
I really hope that I still have my memory and motor skills when I am 94. Parkinson's, Dementia, etc, all these different things that take your life away as you get older. Lost my dad when I was 18, and mom is 77 now and still lives on the farm. She is a helluva good cook yet. She just got a whole beef here a couple of months ago. Back and knee issues are starting to affect her though. Thankful that I have brothers and sister that live close by.
It also seems that once you lose the ability to keep your driver's license, people tend to go down hill fast.
It also seems that once you lose the ability to keep your driver's license, people tend to go down hill fast.
Many years ago my mom had to convince my Grandpa to stop driving and it was hard.
He literally lived the Great Depression so scrapping for funds and not overspending was a big deal to him.
So at 99, she had to pull that card by letting him know that insurance would likely go up, and he never drove again, haha.
I'm unsure about the insurance angle costs. I'll check into that. Thanks for the suggestion
If my 2 were to move into Assisted Living, They would have to be in separate rooms and it would cost $5200 a month each.
Their other options are to have 2 efficiency apartments side by side (they don't sleep in the same room anymore anyway... #Snoring) for about half that... around 5k, but they could have all their meals at the pavilion and keep twice as much of their keepsakes/furniture.
or They stay in their cottage ($1900) and bring in a "Companion" to help each day to cook, clean, help out wherever needed... they aren't aloud to touch them so no baths or anything which I don't see either one of them going for.... I mean she got mad at him for cutting his bananas the wrong way,...
Really sorry to hear it. Going thru chemo with my 87 year old father for the second time. It’s not easy.
Update: They have finally decided to move out of their house. They are both way too independent for true assisted living, but she won't allow anyone in her house to help her because "they do it wrong" So, they are getting rid of most of their stuff and moving to the apartments on the Abernathy-Laurel Campus. They don't have any two bedroom, two bath apartments so they are getting two efficiencies across the hall from each other. This way they both get their own bedroom and bathroom, and they can keep more of their stuff. My brother was able to fly up for 4 days and help them organize the downsize.... Moving crew comes on 5/15. The apartment is like living in a hotel....daily maid service and the cafeteria right downstairs....
Dad is getting better. He sounds more like himself and the therapy people are encouraged. He is still on the walker and when I call, after about 10 minutes he starts to tire out and his speech gets worse.... but he is a far cry from where he was that first week.
Dad is getting better. He sounds more like himself and the therapy people are encouraged. He is still on the walker and when I call, after about 10 minutes he starts to tire out and his speech gets worse.... but he is a far cry from where he was that first week.
Speaking of aging parents....
Last night, my uncle called and then texted (while I was in the shower) saying that my dad was dazed and confused, and needed to go to the hospital right away. Sent the same messages to my sister. My sister called and got ahold of my wife so she could let me know (I live three blocks from him, she's a half hour away), as he wasn't answering the phone. I thought it was really odd, as my son was over at his house mowing, so I figured he would have called if anything was up.
At any rate, I grabbed everything I could think of and ran out of the house. Before I got there, my brother in law called to say it was a joke
. My uncle was referring to a phone call he had with my dad where my dad (a Packer fan) said he might have to start rooting for the Bears (who my uncle likes) because they drafted Montgomery. Worst ******* joke ever. Especially by text.
Last night, my uncle called and then texted (while I was in the shower) saying that my dad was dazed and confused, and needed to go to the hospital right away. Sent the same messages to my sister. My sister called and got ahold of my wife so she could let me know (I live three blocks from him, she's a half hour away), as he wasn't answering the phone. I thought it was really odd, as my son was over at his house mowing, so I figured he would have called if anything was up.
At any rate, I grabbed everything I could think of and ran out of the house. Before I got there, my brother in law called to say it was a joke
. My uncle was referring to a phone call he had with my dad where my dad (a Packer fan) said he might have to start rooting for the Bears (who my uncle likes) because they drafted Montgomery. Worst ******* joke ever. Especially by text.
Speaking of aging parents....
Last night, my uncle called and then texted (while I was in the shower) saying that my dad was dazed and confused, and needed to go to the hospital right away. Sent the same messages to my sister. My sister called and got ahold of my wife so she could let me know (I live three blocks from him, she's a half hour away), as he wasn't answering the phone. I thought it was really odd, as my son was over at his house mowing, so I figured he would have called if anything was up.
At any rate, I grabbed everything I could think of and ran out of the house. Before I got there, my brother in law called to say it was a joke
Wow, boo that move! Yikes.
Wow, boo that move! Yikes.
Yeah. My sister had some choice words with him. I didn't respond at all because I didn't want to have that conversation while mad.
My mom had a similar symptom after having a stroke in her 80's. When one of us would enter the room after her being alone, she would get energized and speak clearly. She would even say things like "Wow, listen to me!" Then, after a few sentences, she would go back to unclear statements and say "yes" even when she meant "no." I don't know if it was the happiness of seeing us or just the excitement when we popped in the door, but it gave her some sort of boost. We learned to use those few moments for more than small talk. It was some of the only times she could communicate clearly, so we tried to make sure she was using it to tell us what we really needed to hear from her.