Aging Parents

[JusHappy2BeHere]

My dad will be 93 in August. He has been pretty much the same guy I've known for 58 years. If you ask my kids about him they will say the same... that they have seen very few small changes in him over the course of their lives... This is the 75 year old that jumped on my sons Razor Scooter on Christmas Day and took off down the street, did a bat turn at the end and came back down towards the Cul-de-sac at break neck speed.

We have noticed a few small changes... handwriting is a little shakier... names are harder for him to remember.... He fell twice since January.... cut his hand but didn't break anything.

Tuesday morning he had a mild stroke (is any stroke mild when you're 92?) during breakfast. They were on it quickly and it isn't life threatening, but he now can't seem to find words... He'll say a perfectly good sentence with excellent pronunciation, and then the next one will be in Klingon.

Today he came home and he sounds much more like himself. His problem now is he can't eat and drink safely without some modifications. He has been the caretaker for his 94 year old wife (not mom) who is mostly wheel chair bound due to a painful back issue. So it looks like the move from their house to the home is no longer a probably should but a have too soon.

He's going to hate that.

 

[Cyclonepride]

My dad will be 93 in August. He has been pretty much the same guy I've known for 58 years. If you ask my kids about him they will say the same... that they have seen very few small changes in him over the course of their lives... This is the 75 year old that jumped on my sons Razor Scooter on Christmas Day and took off down the street, did a bat turn at the end and came back down towards the Cul-de-sac at break neck speed.

We have noticed a few small changes... handwriting is a little shakier... names are harder for him to remember.... He fell twice since January.... cut his hand but didn't break anything.

Tuesday morning he had a mild stroke during breakfast. They were on it quickly and it isn't life threatening, but he now can't seem to find words... He'll say a perfectly good sentence with excellent pronunciation, and then the next one will be in Klingon.

Today he came home and he sounds much more like himself. His problem now is he can't eat and drink safely without some modifications. He has been the caretaker for his 94 year old wife (not mom) who is mostly wheel chair bound due to a painful back issue. So it looks like the move from their house to the home is no longer a probably should but a have too soon.

He's going to hate that.

Sorry to hear that. My mom died of cancer in 2015, so my dad has been living on his own since. Luckily, he lives about three blocks from my house (he's 75). I've been trying to convince him to move his bedroom to the lower level, as he's living at my old house and the stairs are very steep and narrow, but no luck so far. If it ever comes to needing to move him out into a retirement home, that will be very tough.

 

[JusHappy2BeHere]

Sorry to hear that. My mom died of cancer in 2015, so my dad has been living on his own since. Luckily, he lives about three blocks from my house (he's 75). I've been trying to convince him to move his bedroom to the lower level, as he's living at my old house and the stairs are very steep and narrow, but no luck so far. If it ever comes to needing to move him out into a retirement home, that will be very tough.

thanks.... Mrs. Jus is busy searching flights to North Carolina right now.... probably going to be packing and storing stuff before April is over.

 

[Sparkplug]

My adopted mom* had a stroke at 86 and is 88

She had trouble finding words initially but with therapy recovered very well

Only continuing word problem is that everyone is a he.

She’s learned to make lists to help her stay on track

Amazing how the brain copes

We do occasional driving tests to make sure she’s not having problems.

* I was adopted as an adult Lost both of my parents to cancer

 

[khardbored]

Best wishes. My folks are upper 70's and heading downhill in the last 5-10 years. I will be there within 5 years, most likely.

 

[ManBearClone]

My dad will be 93 in August. He has been pretty much the same guy I've known for 58 years. If you ask my kids about him they will say the same... that they have seen very few small changes in him over the course of their lives... This is the 75 year old that jumped on my sons Razor Scooter on Christmas Day and took off down the street, did a bat turn at the end and came back down towards the Cul-de-sac at break neck speed.

We have noticed a few small changes... handwriting is a little shakier... names are harder for him to remember.... He fell twice since January.... cut his hand but didn't break anything.

Tuesday morning he had a mild stroke (is any stroke mild when you're 92?) during breakfast. They were on it quickly and it isn't life threatening, but he now can't seem to find words... He'll say a perfectly good sentence with excellent pronunciation, and then the next one will be in Klingon.

Today he came home and he sounds much more like himself. His problem now is he can't eat and drink safely without some modifications. He has been the caretaker for his 94 year old wife (not mom) who is mostly wheel chair bound due to a painful back issue. So it looks like the move from their house to the home is no longer a probably should but a have too soon.

He's going to hate that.

This sounds so much like my dad also. Had a stroke a couple years ago after being very active. Actually recovered really well from the stroke and due to therapy has in many ways physically better then he was before. But then a year later he broke his leg which was in a way was much more devastating. Now spends most of his time in a wheelchair. My mom is physically much better off but is borderline Alzheimer's. They moved from their house to assisted living after my dad's stroke and then to a nursing home after he broke his leg.

It has been a wake up call financially. Despite having decent pensions and a pretty good long term care insurance the nursing home, at $16000 a month, has completely wiped them out for what is a glorified hospital room. I would like to get them closer to me and back into assisted living which they could actually pay for but I don't have power of attorney and my sister who does I'm not on good terms with. She's actually not on good terms with my dad but she lives close so he made her POA. In the process of figuring out options. I might have to go the guardian route. All I know is they hate it there and want out.

Anyway hope things turn out for you and yours.

 

[mynameisjonas]

Spend as much time with your aging parents as you can, before it's too late. In 20 years you'll be happy and proud that you did.

 

[BCClone]

My dad will be 93 in August. He has been pretty much the same guy I've known for 58 years. If you ask my kids about him they will say the same... that they have seen very few small changes in him over the course of their lives... This is the 75 year old that jumped on my sons Razor Scooter on Christmas Day and took off down the street, did a bat turn at the end and came back down towards the Cul-de-sac at break neck speed.

We have noticed a few small changes... handwriting is a little shakier... names are harder for him to remember.... He fell twice since January.... cut his hand but didn't break anything.

Tuesday morning he had a mild stroke (is any stroke mild when you're 92?) during breakfast. They were on it quickly and it isn't life threatening, but he now can't seem to find words... He'll say a perfectly good sentence with excellent pronunciation, and then the next one will be in Klingon.

Today he came home and he sounds much more like himself. His problem now is he can't eat and drink safely without some modifications. He has been the caretaker for his 94 year old wife (not mom) who is mostly wheel chair bound due to a painful back issue. So it looks like the move from their house to the home is no longer a probably should but a have too soon.

He's going to hate that.

Actually in ER right now for my 88 year old mom who feels weak. Can be a struggle. Starting the convos about assisted living. Sometimes that can be a nice bridge between nursing and being at home.

 

[JimmyChitwood]

Please cherish each and every moment you can with your father. I buried my 79 year old father last week. To many things I should have said and did with him that I can't do now.
I'm just glad he didn't have to go into a home or care facility. That would have done him in sooner.

 

[JusHappy2BeHere]

Please cherish each and every moment you can with your father. I buried my 79 year old father last week. To many things I should have said and did with him that I can't do now.
I'm just glad he didn't have to go into a home or care facility. That would have done him in sooner.

That's how I felt when I lost my mom in 97.... I still had so many things I needed to ask her

 

[somecyguy]

Best wishes. My folks are upper 70's and heading downhill in the last 5-10 years. I will be there within 5 years, most likely.

I lost my father to cancer at age 59 over 10 years ago, but my mother and step father are both in their mid-70s now and each time I visit, I notice something new about them that makes them look older. Both are still relatively active for their age, but conversations with my siblings, we all wonder is there a cliff that both will fall off health-wise and if so when? It's an uncomfortable mindset when for so long our parents were your rock.

 

[Sigmapolis]

My wife's step-grandfather (as her original, biological grandfather died 20+ years ago, and her grandmother got married again) died earlier this week.

He was in his high-90s. All there mentally until the very end, though he fell late last year, broke his hip, and just never physically recovered. It went downhill from there.

He was an impossibly cool guy. He was a submariner in the Pacific in WWII. Said he never saw the light of day the whole war. I feel like a library burned down.

 

[Cyfan1965]

If you are looking to move your aging parents into assisted living or a care facility...... Do it sooner rather than later and have one big fight. Instead of having a fight every 6 months or a year because they have to move when they blow through their life savings in 5 years. Going to stop there before I slander a Dr in McFarland clinic.

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

Unfortunately father time catches up with everyone.

My dad passed away at 89 4 years ago due to complications of dementia. My mom will be 86 in August. When she sold the house and moved into another house my older sister tried to get her to move in with her but Mom didn't want to.
I worry because she will be 85 this year and while she is in good health you never know what each day will bring.

 

[chadly82]

My dad will be 93 in August. He has been pretty much the same guy I've known for 58 years. If you ask my kids about him they will say the same... that they have seen very few small changes in him over the course of their lives... This is the 75 year old that jumped on my sons Razor Scooter on Christmas Day and took off down the street, did a bat turn at the end and came back down towards the Cul-de-sac at break neck speed.

We have noticed a few small changes... handwriting is a little shakier... names are harder for him to remember.... He fell twice since January.... cut his hand but didn't break anything.

Tuesday morning he had a mild stroke (is any stroke mild when you're 92?) during breakfast. They were on it quickly and it isn't life threatening, but he now can't seem to find words... He'll say a perfectly good sentence with excellent pronunciation, and then the next one will be in Klingon.

Today he came home and he sounds much more like himself. His problem now is he can't eat and drink safely without some modifications. He has been the caretaker for his 94 year old wife (not mom) who is mostly wheel chair bound due to a painful back issue. So it looks like the move from their house to the home is no longer a probably should but a have too soon.

He's going to hate that.

Sounds like you've had a lot of awesome time with him. I love hearing these things, much better discussions than most on here. Mine are just hitting early 60s but starting to show the signs of their old age finally. Hopefully they are around in their 90s like your father is, best wishes to your family!

 

[Stormin]

Remember that each day you have your parents is a blessing. Caregiving for parents is not easy.

 

[Sevey]

We just had my Dad's funeral on Tuesday of this week. He was 94 years old and my mom is still alive and is 92. I will just concur with what many of you have said. Spend as much time as you can with them and give them the attention they need and deserve. My wife has lost both of her parents and we have always had the motto, "No regrets". Do what is right now and you will be at peace later.

 

[dmclone]

My mother is 85 and up until 75 was very active. She would be driving all the time and meeting friends. Now she's unable to drive outside of town (she knows her limits) and a lot of her friends have passed on. So she just sits in her apartment all day and her highlight is going to Hy-Vee a couple of times per week. My wifes grandmother just hit 90 and has dementia. I get depressed when I talk to them and think about getting old. I have no urge to live that long.

 

[JusHappy2BeHere]

We just had my Dad's funeral on Tuesday of this week. He was 94 years old and my mom is still alive and is 92. I will just concur with what many of you have said. Spend as much time as you can with them and give them the attention they need and deserve. My wife has lost both of her parents and we have always had the motto, "No regrets". Do what is right now and you will be at peace later.

Mom died before Cell Phones, and I have to admit that there were times I wanted to talk to her but didn't call because of the cost of long distance.... for the last 22 years, I would give a months salary just to talk to her again....

 

[KnappShack]

Being an older guy having a baby soon my health has been on my mind. Energy levels. Cognitive abilities. Physical limitations

I'll be in my 70's if he goes to college. My physical prime is well behind me. I seem to stumble more on words already. I hate to think the little man is coming into the world just to see pops lose to father time

Nothing more valuable than time. And it's a commodity that seems to be burning at a faster rate.