There was a guy I used to work with (a Attorney) who would bring his papers into the stall with him, sometimes laying them on the floor to spread them out. He would also be on phone calls while in the stall. Everyone would be as loud as they could - farting, grunting, flushing numerous times in hopes that the people he was talking to would hear he was in the bathroom.
Public Bathroom Etiquette
- Thread starter cyclonespiker33
- Start date
Wait until the bathroom is empty so you can sneak out without flushing the toilet *. The "Bathroom Bomber Strikes Again" office discussion will start up again.
* Make sure to flush the urinal so if someone comes in while you're washing your hands, they'll assume you used the urinal and the crapper was already in a state of disarray.
* Make sure to flush the urinal so if someone comes in while you're washing your hands, they'll assume you used the urinal and the crapper was already in a state of disarray.
My usual line when this happens, making sure they'll be able to hear it, is... "Yeeesh, I've never seen THAT color before."
We have a guy in the office who uses too much metamucil. He is in there "blasting off" about 6 times a day, and the gas to solid ratio has to be 10 to 1. On top of that, he grunts loudly, like he's deadlifting 500 lbs. It's insane.
He also farts loudly in his office a lot. After particularly loud ones, he will go "whoa!" as if he was surprised by his own fart.
He also farts loudly in his office a lot. After particularly loud ones, he will go "whoa!" as if he was surprised by his own fart.
I wait until the coast is clear.
Now here is an question, what places do you try to avoid going number 2 unless it's an unavoidable? I will obviously go at home and in public but I try at all costs not to have to go at a friend's house or other family houses.
Now here is an question, what places do you try to avoid going number 2 unless it's an unavoidable? I will obviously go at home and in public but I try at all costs not to have to go at a friend's house or other family houses.
Toilets in airports have to be the worst. I avoid them at all costs.
Honorable mention: the bathroom at the old whiskey river. toilet and urinal in the same small room. I once went down there to pee and there was a dude taking a dump. what do I do? he was mere inches from me.
I was at a wedding reception where the doors to both stalls in the men's room didn't lock. That another no go situation if I can help it.
I’ve heard some god awful sounds come people on the commode before while I was at the urinal. I could not get in and out fast enough. The human body is remarkable, but some of the sounds/noises along with gaseous pressure build up it can make seems almost next to impossible. Cue the Dumb and Dumber turbo lax scene!!
There was a guy that used to work with me that when he was cleaning it sounded like he was polishing a Lamborghini. Not like a usual sound, it literally sounded like he was sanding the skin off his ass.
That and the guys that don’t wash their hands and don’t realize we can recognize their shoes under the stall door.
That and the guys that don’t wash their hands and don’t realize we can recognize their shoes under the stall door.
I went into my office bathroom today and someone must have been to a buffet of sauerkraut, limberger cheese, and Brussels sprouts. It smelled otherworldly in there. I wanted to do like coroners do on TV shows and put a smear of Vicks VapoRub on my upper lip right below my nostrils.
This is reason #100,000,001 why I prefer working from home.
This is reason #100,000,001 why I prefer working from home.
Another funny thing at my office is that the bathroom light is on a timer, and must shut off after, like 15 minutes. It's on a motion sensor that apparently doesn't reach into the stalls, so there have been a number of times I go into the bathroom, the lights turn on, and I realize someone is in a stall taking a dump that has obviously lasted over 15 minutes. It makes me wonder how long they waited in complete darkness sitting on the pot.