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Impending doom....

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Al_4_State said:
I'm not married, but there isn't much difference. Every time we move, my girlfriend's parents bring down their trailer and help us. It's always 2 full days of them telling us what to do with our things, how much they don't like the new place and what a cheap *** I am because I'm not springing for the more expensive toilet paper. We always move at the end of November, and they always drag their feet the day after we move and hold off another night because of possible snow.

This means that when I'm at the point where I really need a god damned beer, my girlfriend won't go out because her folks are here, and gives me the stink eye when I head to the bar. Stink eye be damned, several days of having my every move criticized by an overweight, aging and menopausal version of my girlfriend drives me straight to the bottle.
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Quick take a look at what the Mother-In-Law looked like at your girlfriend's age. You may want to trade in the current girlfriend based on these findings.
 
ISU4ME said:
Quick take a look at what the Mother-In-Law looked like at your girlfriend's age. You may want to trade in the current girlfriend based on these findings.
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They looked pretty similar, but I've taken steps to prevent the preventable things. I did that up front. If she avoids her folks' poor diet, she'll be fine. And I can't stand to eat multiple fried meals a week, so it shouldn't be a problem. Or so I keep telling myself.
 
Al_4_State said:
They looked pretty similar, but I've taken steps to prevent the preventable things. I did that up front. If she avoids her folks' poor diet, she'll be fine. And I can't stand to eat multiple fried meals a week, so it shouldn't be a problem. Or so I keep telling myself.
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You'll be fine. That steady diet of copious amounts of beer will not put an ounce on yours or her hips.
 
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So,

I forgot to pick the kid up from school today. To top it off, i forgot my phone was off, so they had to call my wife at work.

She gets home in 15 minutes.

I'm ****ed.
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Greg Mcdermott never forgot to pick Doug up at school.
 
I once locked my pregnant wife out of the house while she was walking our dog. I shut the garage door on the way out and drove away not even thinking, just doing my normal routine. Got a call from the neighbors before I got to the basketball game I was going to and thankfully it hasn't got brought up much over the last 2 years.
It was outdone by me not answering my phone through the first 2 hours of labor my wife was in with my second child while I was at football practice. That's what she gets for being due during 2-a-days! I will continue to hear about that one until I find a way to screw up with #3.
 
Snowcraig,
don't you know you are supposed to bash your head on the sidewalk, say you tripped and fell and then act like you have a concussion and don't know what is going on. In the case you really screw up you hit the cement hard enough to really give yourself a concussion then you don't have even fake it. Taken from the book of excuses for men, a book I should write after being married this long. Any other excuses that should be added.
 
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