Teams
Forum List
Toggle sidebar

Things your kids have said

When my son was around 5, I had brought home a bucket of KFC. I always got a mixture of original recipe and extra crispy. At that age they want to help so he was polling everyone at the table on what piece of chicken they wanted. When he gets to my wife, who always eats a chicken breast, he says, " Mom, do you like your breast crunchy or smooth?" Both of us nearly peed ourselves we laughed so hard.
 
  • Like
  • Funny
Reactions: clone4life82, Cy4Lifer, cowgirl836 and 1 other person
Pitt_Clone said:
When mine was around that age he loved dump trucks, but every time he said it it sounded exactly like "dumb ****". There were a couple times I had to explain things when we were out in public.
Click to expand...

Oh yes, we have that as well. Big love of all trucks right now so we do a lot of repeating when in public. Yes, that's a big truck! A garbage truck! Dump truck!
 
I'll take this in a slightly different direction.

4 yr old grandson's tree swing was sagging the other day and he asked me to help him fix it. He gets out his toy tools complete with hardhat, goggle, respirator etc. "Safety first!" He says. So I retie the knots and raise the swing.

He says "We did it! Give me a high five Grampy! Teamwork makes the dreamwork!"

Then as I'm pushing him on the swing he says "Grampy, you make my heart happy!"

Onions man!
 
  • Like
  • Friendly
  • Love
Reactions: RLD4ISU, BirdOfWar, BuffettClone and 19 others
Youngest son occasionally had problems with a "b" sounding more like an "f". We enjoyed watching dirt track races and one driver's name was "Bucky". Whenever he was out on the track, my MIL would yell at my son "Nick, who is that driver?" He's loudly yell "IT'S %UCKY!!!"

Another time a group of us sitting in the stands were sharing a big bag of salted peanuts in the shell. My boys had to go to the bathroom, so my son carefully set his peanut on the seat, looked at everyone else in our group and warned them "No one touch my nuts!" The whole crowd around burst out laughing.

My youngest would call a wash cloth a "car wash". (Interesting since I called it a "cloth off" when I was little).

My youngest son would also use the bathroom, loudly drop the toilet lid and yell "OUCH!!" He was probably 10 or 11 when he started doing that. He would also bang on the bathroom door and yell "Hurry up, I'm prairie doggin it out here!" (He was a little older when that happened)
 
  • Funny
Reactions: NWICY
My little brother. Once, when he was 4 or 5, my mom took him & my sisters to the pool for the afternoon. During one of the rest breaks, he was sitting next to her and whenever a man would walk by he’d ask “is that my daddy?” loud enough for them to hear. After the 3rd or 4th time, my mom gave up on getting him to stop and packed it in for the day.

Nobody knows where he got it, as this was a good 5+ years before our parents split up.
 
I tend to hold on to and use the words they say wrong when they’re little. Stuff like…

Menards=Benards
Banana=Meena
Incredible=Crebigal
The puppies are bubbies
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Cy4Lifer and NWICY
Youngest started saying “sh*t” About anytime right when she started kindergarten. We asked he where she’d heard that and she didn’t want to tell…when she calmed down she said: “ that’s what dad says when he’s watching basketball”.
 
  • Like
  • Funny
Reactions: Dr.bannedman and NWICY
When my oldest daughter was about 2 or 3, she used to call balloons "bindy boons."

When my grandson was 4, we visited an elderly uncle and aunt, it would have been his great-great uncle and aunt. It was the first time he had ever seen them. He looked at my aunt and told her, "you have an ugly face." I was mortified.
 
  • Funny
Reactions: coolerifyoudid and NWICY
We were on vacation and my wife was in an elevator with our middle daughter who was probably around 3 years old at the time. A little person gets on the elevator and my wife starts to sweat, praying that daughter won’t say anything. Elevator finally gets to our floor and relieved wife starts to walk out and as they are exiting daughter looks up and says: “Mom aren’t ya glad I didn’t say anything about the midget” and then the elevator doors close.
 
  • Like
  • Funny
Reactions: cytor, NWICY and cy90
I took son to a Creighton basketball game When he was three. At halftime, he said he needed to go potty so I took him to the restroom. I waited for a tall and short urinal to open up side by side so I could keep an eye on him. This was the first time he had used a urinal, he was very proud to go potty like a “big boy.”

While we were relieving ourselves, he looked at me, glanced down and then back up, and said “Daddy, you got a big penis.“ Everyone within earshot broke out laughing.
 
  • Haha
  • Funny
  • Like
Reactions: MeowingCows, Tailg8er, IASTATE07 and 3 others
Got a few:
my daughter was 2 (almost 3); I had worked that day and picked her up at the babysitters. My wife was working at the north grand mall that night so after supper we were going out to visit her and just walk around, but I couldn't find her shoes anywhere. Looked everywhere and was pretty frustrated and finally I asked my daughter where her shoes were. She replied "you mean my damn shoes?". I said "what did you say" and she replied "that's what mom calls them when she can't find them".

my son was 5 and we were on a long trip back from the lake just the two of us and he asked me what truck I was going to buy him when he got older, so I started pointing out old broken down trucks in yards... and he'd laugh, even saw an old manure spreader and told him what it was and that I'd buy him that... and he lauged. But then I pointed to this one old truck in a yard and said I'd buy him that one and he got really pissed and said: "DAD! That's not funny, that's a FORD"

Same son was about 10 years old. We're from Iowa but live down South. It was after church and everyone was in the fellowship hall having coffee and donuts (it was a small church, about 60 people) and my son runs into the room flipping a football in the air and yells loudly to his friends (where everyone can hear): "Who wants to go outside and play smear the qu*eer?" Everyone stopped talking and looked at him... then looked at me". Luckily it was a lutheran church with others from up north and we finally convinced everyone this was a real game by that name. Just shows you got to be careful what you say around them, even when you say "but you can't ever call it that".
 
  • Haha
Reactions: NWICY and g4ce
throwittoblythe said:
One of my go-to phrases is “d*cking around”. When my daughter was potty training at 3 years old, she was in the bathroom for a long time with the door shut.

Me “what are you doing in there?”
Her “just d*cking around!”

Me “good job using it in the right context, let’s not say that word again though”
Click to expand...
Yeah, we passed that one on too. One day at about 2 or 3 we ask Calvin what he's doing, "Oh, just d**kin around and d**kin around.

Around that time at a drive up I ask the worker something and they look up, say nothing and close the window. I reply,'that's great.' Calvin from the back says, "No, Dad, its f**kin stupid." - That was def the wife's fault!
 
  • Haha
  • Funny
Reactions: NWICY and throwittoblythe
Jeremy said:
Tonight after dinner my 12 year old stood up and said, “I’m only 4 feet tall cause God put the other 12 inches down there”, pointing to his crotch.

My wife immediately says, “son, we’ve seen that he didn’t”.
Click to expand...

Damn, wife is wicked, did the boy have a comeback?
 
When my daughter was two we went to Fazolis. She spilled her spaghetti and cried out ”Oh Sh*%”.

I immediately turned to look at my wife (the cussser in the family) and she just casually rolled her eyes.

My very proper mother-in-law then spoke up: “Well, at least she used it appropriately”.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Cycsk
You must log in or register to reply here.

Help Support Us

Become a patron
Top Bottom
Back