Off-Topic: Putting a Pet Down

[NWICY]

So sorry for your loss. And that's what Im trying to do with mine. His appetite - IDK - last week it was bad, had to feed him by hand - then for about 3-4 days he ate really well, and then today - he's hardly ate and doesn't drink much. Or as much as he should. Is that because of the growth? Is it something else? IDK.

I know it might be a bit early, but I can't shake the feeling that he's suffering. Its not as obvious as it might be in a few months but - I don't know -

So far I've got a list of 14 walks (4 down) I want to go for, bought him a new bone - got him a couple new toys, might even wrap them as he used to love unwrapping presents, got him some puppy cream, a breakfast donut, a roast beef Slider from Arby's , a plain hamburger and some chicken - he's gonna get a little turkey and a little salmon. And then some bacon and steak on one of his last days.

I just, I don't transfuse him as often as I should anymore because he doesn't seem to respond positively as much - but he's been transfusedd 2-3 times a week for years, insulin, special diabetes dog food, raglan, I give cerenia fairly regularly through the vet to help his stomach as he has had a problem with nausuea in the past - and occasionally pain pills. Tried some eye drops back when he first had a cataract that was supposed to help slow its growth. Not that he even worked at helping me get the drops in LOL.

Some other stuff I've fallen behind on just dealing with things from mom's illness and trying to make ends meet and trying to prioritize things but - Overall I feel like ... IDK. I'm not trying to make myself the world's greatest pet parent or show off, just... that even though he's happy... I'm extending his life already. And I worry, if I'm selfish... what does his life look like if I keep trying to extend it further, as it seems the problems are only rising.

I want him with me. But I want him happy.


I"M NOT THAT. Probably an average pet parent at best.

But I just wanted everyone to know Im not trying to get rid of my dog. I would never... when I was homeless, years ago, I had a relative offer me a place to stay, but that I was going to have to get rid of my dog. I stayed homeless. I would never get rid of him.


Because while I like to believe that there's something after life, I don't know that I'm a good enough person to deserve it. I know I"m not as good of a person as Shiloh is a dog. And I know for dang sure I'm not as good of a person as mom was.

Dude don't be so hard on your self, you are doing a great job of helping Shiloh. Good luck on the rest of it.

 

[Cyrealist]

Because he might be as close as I get to a son. Who knows. And I feel like I failed him, and I feel like I am failing him. Of course I felt like I should have done something to save my mom as well.

I think feelings of guilt ar a really common part of grieving. There are no wrong emotions but they are a poor guide to decision-making. I believe you need to step outside the situation to make a rational decision. Then give yourself permission to feel all the emotions.

 

[stewart092284]

Agree. I think part of it - is the last year has been such a struggle, emotionally - and largely financially after all the bandaids I tried last year thinking I'd have time to fix once my mom was better and in the moment, just fixating on what I had to do survive and be there for her -

I feel bad that if in the future, near future or long term, or both, if I'm to get things in a better place financially - he won't be there for that. That he had to suffer the emotional ups and downs and some of the limitations financially - but he won't be there to experience the come back, which hopefully happens.

And I think that's where some of the guilt comes from. Because he's never once wavered and I just wish he was going to be there when hopefully soon, I'll turn the corner financially and I had plans and celebrations I was going to do and now - it doesn't like he'll be there. At least physically.

I think that's where some of the guilt comes from

 

[Big_Sill]

Sorry to hear, this is really hard. We had to do this a few months ago. What helped me the most was hearing from so many good reasonable people who looked back and now say: “I wish I would have done it sooner”.

When quality of life is low or gone and there’s even a tiny hint of any pain or suffering… it’s probably time.

 

[Cyhig]

So, I have to put my beloved Dog Shiloh down on Tuesday. He's a diabetic, has pancreatitis, going blind in one eye, and has a smallish to medium sized growth under an armpit. He had a fatty lump a few years ago but this one has me more concerned.

He's still a happy Dog. He still loves his walks and he adores me. Which is what makes hard. I lost my mom last year. I'm an introvert so I struggle meeting new people and making new friends. And I don't have a ton of friends. At least in person in town.

He'd be 11 in the spring so he's not a Spring chicken.

And I want him to go before he gets really sick. I don't want him to suffer too much. I just... I feel like... I'm murdering him. And that if I'm wrong and he would have had a lot more time with me than what have I done?

The vet didn't even really ask because we've been flirting with being at this stage before. They've thought he was close to here for a while now. Maybe since April. I've tried to drag it out up until now and also, its becoming harder to afford paying for the two, sometimes three prescriptions and prescription food and IDK that he's have a quality of life.

I know he loves me. I know I love him. I know hes a happy Dog. I Know I wish I could win the lottery and find a way to make him 5 years younger. I know I wish I could snap my fingers and undo any number of things but that as we all know is not life.

I guess my questions is - and I know its different for everyone - how do you reconcile the faith, love and trust in a pet's eyes and not have it feel like you're betraying them? I want to say I"m not, because I'm trying to keep his interest at heart and let him go while he can still enjoy his walkies, enjoy his car rides and his appetite and occasionally, although more and more rarely play or chew on a bone. I 'm struggling with it.

I want to be selfish. I want to say, hell no, I'm not letting go. But I also want to do right by him and I'm struggling to square those two things

We had to out down our 14 year old dog this past spring. She was having a harder time standing up and began to walk strangely. Found a large tumor near the stomach; believed it to be bladder cancer. At that age, we knew it was time. My wife had me start looking for new puppies before we even put the dog down. I would be researching online with the dog sitting in front of me, looking at me like “what are you doing?”

In the end, the dog went very peacefully and was happy even in the last moments. Coping can be tough, but I think even the dogs know their time is coming to an end. Looking back we were glad we made the decision at that time as her quality of life was beginning to deteriorate.

It’s normal to mourn, but also be happy they brought such great joy to you and your family.

 

[stewart092284]

We had to out down our 14 year old dog this past spring. She was having a harder time standing up and began to walk strangely. Found a large tumor near the stomach; believed it to be bladder cancer. At that age, we knew it was time. My wife had me start looking for new puppies before we even put the dog down. I would be researching online with the dog sitting in front of me, looking at me like “what are you doing?”

In the end, the dog went very peacefully and was happy even in the last moments. Coping can be tough, but I think even the dogs know their time is coming to an end. Looking back we were glad we made the decision at that time as her quality of life was beginning to deteriorate.

It’s normal to mourn, but also be happy they brought such great joy to you and your family.

I am very sorry for your loss.

I think most of it is selfish. I'm worried about being alone. I'm worried about being early, yes, but last year I had everything I thought I needed. Mom and dog. Now, a year later, it seems I'll have lost both.


And, even though I was raised religious, and I believe - or want to believe - sometimes I get myself scared that there is nothing after life - even though there's a lot of evidence to suggest that there's SOMETHING else at least... and then I get scared that if this is it, that I cheated him.

I know I could also look at everything I've done that a lot of other dog owners might not have, and say that I already extended his life and gave him a good life. I just wish I could bring him with me forever. And I know that I'm not unique there. That everyone whose had a pet and cared for that pet has felt the same

 

[stewart092284]

So.... I know I"m reaching here but.... depression? He's had a second straight good day for the most part. And I'm just wondering... he lost my mom who watched over him when I was at work. I'm gone from 7-3 or sometimes longer daily.

According to google - loss of appetite, lack of interest in previous activities, whining more, sleeping more, etc....

Could it be that simple? I don't want to give myself false hope - he 100% does have the other issues - but I will say as I have spent more and more time at home over Thanksgiving break, his energy, attitude and everything is starting to improve.

I think I"ll get a second opinion on Monday before making a final decision. Can't hurt.

 

[cmjh10]

So.... I know I"m reaching here but.... depression? He's had a second straight good day for the most part. And I'm just wondering... he lost my mom who watched over him when I was at work. I'm gone from 7-3 or sometimes longer daily.

According to google - loss of appetite, lack of interest in previous activities, whining more, sleeping more, etc....

Could it be that simple? I don't want to give myself false hope - he 100% does have the other issues - but I will say as I have spent more and more time at home over Thanksgiving break, his energy, attitude and everything is starting to improve.

I think I"ll get a second opinion on Monday before making a final decision. Can't hurt.

Could very well be that. If he had a set routine and now it’s been changed, could be leading to some of what you’re seeing.

You are the only one that sees it daily, so you are the only one that knows for sure. Trust your gut.

 

[NorthCyd]

Dealing with similar situation right now. 15 year old lab/retriever mix that basically can't get up on his own anymore and is having incontinence issues. If we help him up he can walk a little bit, but he simply won't be carried and won't use a ramp and he is really struggling to get up and down the deck stairs. He is still eating which is the only thing keeping him going. It's time but wife and kids are not ready yet. It sucks, especially around the holidays.

My wife and I talked about it and we are going to talk to our vet tomorrow to move ahead with putting him down. Just a really awful feeling. Lots of tears. It's what's best for him though. He is in so much pain.