A pet. A loved one. It's always best to be there with them until the end. It sucks, but it really is the best way, and when you look back you will be glad you were there.
Off-Topic: Putting a Pet Down
- Thread starter stewart092284
- Start date
To the OP. You will know when the time is right…….
As others have said, as an owner, it is your responsibility to help your pet navigate their worst day. Hard as hell to do, but think about it from your pet’s perspective…..you would want a loved one in the room comforting you.
As others have said, as an owner, it is your responsibility to help your pet navigate their worst day. Hard as hell to do, but think about it from your pet’s perspective…..you would want a loved one in the room comforting you.
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It's never an easy decision. I'm in my mid 40s, at one point we had 3 cats for 18 yrs and 2 dogs of 10 yrs. We had to put one down each year for 5 straight years. My daughter, wife and i were devastated each time. We have 2 dogs, ages 3 & 4 currently and try not to think that we're going to have to do that again in 6-10 years.
You're always going to second guess yourself on if you waited too long or didn't act soon enough. You're around him everyday and don't see the changes he's going through as clearly. I would just say that at some point you need to do it because you love him and don't want him to suffer anymore.
Best of luck! When the time comes, remember the great times you've had with him. Find certain ways to honor and memorialize him. After you've grieved, find him a brother or sister, they will never take his place, but start a new part of your family.
Picture below is the day we had to put down Jack Trice, white dog. Cancer. I wanted one pic of them all together.
You're always going to second guess yourself on if you waited too long or didn't act soon enough. You're around him everyday and don't see the changes he's going through as clearly. I would just say that at some point you need to do it because you love him and don't want him to suffer anymore.
Best of luck! When the time comes, remember the great times you've had with him. Find certain ways to honor and memorialize him. After you've grieved, find him a brother or sister, they will never take his place, but start a new part of your family.
Picture below is the day we had to put down Jack Trice, white dog. Cancer. I wanted one pic of them all together.
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Dogs are the equivalent of decent human beings.
I'm sorry you are going through this; I've been through it several times and I know it's around the bend again soon. When we lost our 2 black labs about 12 years ago, my dad gave me this framed. I'm looking at it now and have tears in my eyes, but it also brings me comfort:
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
I've been the guy with the syringe for nearly 40 years. I always advise clients who want my opinion that they have to honestly evaluate their ability to care for a pet with chronic disease. If people don't have the emotional or physical resources to provide the care, there's no shame in letting go. Beyond that, my opinion is it should be based on whether the animal is having more good days than bad. If there's no joy in life, then it's time. Euthanasia doesn't bother me in those cases since I see it as helping the client help their pet. The tough ones are when the dog comes trotting in wagging his tail.
I'm not a pet person but that last sentence kinda made my stomach turn.
Decent human beings have nothing on most dogs.
That's where he's at. But he's got chronic disease. He's happy. He loves me. He loves his walks and he barks and does stuff but I just... hes got his diseases. And I don't know that I can give him he'll need going forward. He's going blind, pancreatitis , diabetes, some kind of growth that could be a fatty clump or maybe a swollen lymph node which means something else - since the blood when he's blood work done in the last year was always good - so if it is a lymph node then.. I can't even say what it likely is then.
Hes happy. He loves me. He seems... OK some days. But I worry I can't support the way he'll need. And I don't want his yellow flags to turn him red. I want him out to go out when he can still be happy, when he can still walk in tail raised and not when I have when I have to carry him.
I hope that doesn't make me a horrible person....
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As for the Rainbow Bridge, lordy I hope so. I struggle my own personal faith sometimes but I just hope there is something else - for my mom, and for my dog. If I'm not good enough to get in, but they are both there, then that's good enough for me. I can live with that.
If he's happy and getting around ok/doesn't seem to be in pain I'd let him live until those things change.
Read @CascadeClone response. That's the exact problem they have to do it so many times and see the sadness and pain in the animal's final moments because their human won't be with them.
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Vets are known to bounce from the job from the depression of going through this kind of thing so much.
It absolutely can affect them.
That's what my heart wants. Or what I want. But he - he doesn't act right outside of walks. I think he's so worried about being left home alone that when I go on a walk, I think he puts everything he has into that walk. Because when we get home, he just lays down and sleeps. I'll lay on the floor next to him and he doesn't wag his tail much, just kind of lifts his head. Sometimes he'll wag his tail when I lay down and try to play, other times he'll just get up and go lay on the bed - he;s not being standoffish because if I go in and lay down he'll wrap his arms around my arm and give me a hug. Hes just telling me - he can't play. Something hurts. And .... IDK.
I keep going back and forth.
My concern - is I don't want to see him get rough. Maybe that's selfish? But I want him to out happy. I want him to go out knowing I loved him, being able to go potty, being able to walk, being able to move around a little. Even a month or two ago, he used to try hard to be a puppy. He would dig on the bed or the floor or wrestle with his dog bed. He does almost none of that now. He just groans and lays down and ...
I really think he goes on a walk because A) that's always been our thing. He and I have always gone on walks and I think he just wants to be with me and have those moments that he tries so hard and B) he is paranoid about being home alone that I think every time I go he wants to come with.
IDK man... I don't want to do I can't fight the feeling that somethings wrong and that he's not enjoying life. Maybe he is, I don't know, I just look at him and know he was 1-2, 3 months ago and - he's not that anymore. And while I would have to have him for Christmas or longer - I also want him to remember him as a happy dog on a walk , a dog with a good appetite, and not - not a dog who can't do anything on his own.
I saw mom go that route. I saw my dad go that route. It might selfish a** but I whether I'm a little early or not I 100% know he's crested, we're on the down side, and I don't want him to reach the bottom before I take him in. I want him to know I love him, that he can still go outside and try to bark at people and kitties and get his sniffs - and he can out that way rather than being really sick.
And I hopen that doesn't make me a terrible person or that he'll hate me for maybe being a little early. I hope he'll understand that I did from love, that I did from a fear that I wasn't going to be able to take care of him properly financially or otherwise and that I did it thinking that if you all are right, he's going to be in a better pain free place and I'll just hope he knows how much I love him and how much I'm sorry that this day is coming and how much I wish I could change everything.
Part of me wishes I was the one who was sick and that he was healthy and I could find him a good home. I did last year when I was in a bad place , I made sure a couple friends agreed to take care of him if anything happened to me.
I'm going to miss him so much. I'm going miss coming home to the garbage cans being tipped over. I'm going to miss his groaning at me when I get home and him telling me off for leaving him. I"m going to miss it all.
I just don't - I don't want him to fall further down the backside of the hill. I want better than that for him.
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Also thank you everyone, as he's just lying on his pile of toys and not really moving much - IDK. I don't want to make this decision. I will miss more than I say, even in these messages. He is my heart. And my soul. And I wish I had the money to pay for every survery, every thing and I had the time and I had everything... but even then I know I can't fix time. I can't fix time and I can't fix the diseases. I could buy more time, with those things, but like I said.... while it hurt more to have him go out maybe with a little time left, it will also make me happy seeing his tail wag some knowing he was still happy. I hope that makes sense and doesn't make me horrible
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Also, not just for myself but I will say that overall I think that we as humanity, don't totally deserve dogs....
I have zero doubt you all are great pet owners however, there is plenty of evidence of the other kind let alone how we as people can treat each other.
Maybe I've been blessed (well, I have been with both dogs I've owned) but also including those I've known, I've never known a dog to be "mean" or aggressive 100% on their own, without some kind of training or other negative experiences that lead to it.
Even my uncles dog who he rescued eating corn off the side of the road and had been severely abused - has never had a problem with the family, although he certainly does hate the color yellow, especially if worn by a man
I have zero doubt you all are great pet owners however, there is plenty of evidence of the other kind let alone how we as people can treat each other.
Maybe I've been blessed (well, I have been with both dogs I've owned) but also including those I've known, I've never known a dog to be "mean" or aggressive 100% on their own, without some kind of training or other negative experiences that lead to it.
Even my uncles dog who he rescued eating corn off the side of the road and had been severely abused - has never had a problem with the family, although he certainly does hate the color yellow, especially if worn by a man
I have no doubt you will know when it is the right time. With pets, like humans, most of us end up a shell of our former selves with a host of ailments that will eventually run their course. Days of energy and brilliance become hours or moments. It’s the process of getting older and it sucks, but it’s part of life.
I think in your case the walks are important and a good tell tale. As long as he shows enthusiasm and energy to do this, regardless of his energy afterwards, I think that could be good enough given his age / ailments.
Unfortunately with our last dog (Golden / Lab mix) we didn’t get to the point that you did with your dog (aggressive cancer at 9yo). Noticed he was not his usual self and had a rash in his belly. Got the diagnosis about this time of year and the vet said he had maybe a couple of months left. We made sure it was the best two month’s possible. Fed him like a king, lots of pictures, and love. Knew it was time when he lost his appetite (the cancer had spread to his throat making it hard to eat / drink). He left this earth / life knowing that he was loved until the very end and was going to be pain free, and honestly, we should all be that fortunate.
I think in your case the walks are important and a good tell tale. As long as he shows enthusiasm and energy to do this, regardless of his energy afterwards, I think that could be good enough given his age / ailments.
Unfortunately with our last dog (Golden / Lab mix) we didn’t get to the point that you did with your dog (aggressive cancer at 9yo). Noticed he was not his usual self and had a rash in his belly. Got the diagnosis about this time of year and the vet said he had maybe a couple of months left. We made sure it was the best two month’s possible. Fed him like a king, lots of pictures, and love. Knew it was time when he lost his appetite (the cancer had spread to his throat making it hard to eat / drink). He left this earth / life knowing that he was loved until the very end and was going to be pain free, and honestly, we should all be that fortunate.
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So sorry for your loss. And that's what Im trying to do with mine. His appetite - IDK - last week it was bad, had to feed him by hand - then for about 3-4 days he ate really well, and then today - he's hardly ate and doesn't drink much. Or as much as he should. Is that because of the growth? Is it something else? IDK.
I know it might be a bit early, but I can't shake the feeling that he's suffering. Its not as obvious as it might be in a few months but - I don't know -
So far I've got a list of 14 walks (4 down) I want to go for, bought him a new bone - got him a couple new toys, might even wrap them as he used to love unwrapping presents, got him some puppy cream, a breakfast donut, a roast beef Slider from Arby's , a plain hamburger and some chicken - he's gonna get a little turkey and a little salmon. And then some bacon and steak on one of his last days.
I just, I don't transfuse him as often as I should anymore because he doesn't seem to respond positively as much - but he's been transfusedd 2-3 times a week for years, insulin, special diabetes dog food, raglan, I give cerenia fairly regularly through the vet to help his stomach as he has had a problem with nausuea in the past - and occasionally pain pills. Tried some eye drops back when he first had a cataract that was supposed to help slow its growth. Not that he even worked at helping me get the drops in LOL.
Some other stuff I've fallen behind on just dealing with things from mom's illness and trying to make ends meet and trying to prioritize things but - Overall I feel like ... IDK. I'm not trying to make myself the world's greatest pet parent or show off, just... that even though he's happy... I'm extending his life already. And I worry, if I'm selfish... what does his life look like if I keep trying to extend it further, as it seems the problems are only rising.
I want him with me. But I want him happy.
I"M NOT THAT. Probably an average pet parent at best.
But I just wanted everyone to know Im not trying to get rid of my dog. I would never... when I was homeless, years ago, I had a relative offer me a place to stay, but that I was going to have to get rid of my dog. I stayed homeless. I would never get rid of him.
Because while I like to believe that there's something after life, I don't know that I'm a good enough person to deserve it. I know I"m not as good of a person as Shiloh is a dog. And I know for dang sure I'm not as good of a person as mom was.
If you're not there, you're pretty close. As I said, if life is just a struggle, it's time to let him go. But you're the only one that can know that for sure. Some people do wait what is, in my opinion, too long and I think some want to be done with the situation for themselves, but it's their decision, and I hope they're making the decision that's right for them. There are checklists available that can help owners evaluate quality of life. https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/sites/defau...ionAnimals/HonoringtheBond/HowDoIKnowWhen.pdf
Thank you! I'll give it a look. Back in the summer when the vet thought it might be time, they gave me one of those. It was something of happiness or something like that, but it asked about his day and you put an X and then tallied the end.
At that point, he was doing okay. Kind of through , IDK, September, I was feeling good.
October was more up an down.
End of October till now - I feel like there's been, maybe what I'd say, is 3-4 "good days" buy his standards in August or July. He still has a energy for walks and still loves to see me and wants to be my companion , which I know I"m repeating myself, I'm sorry.
It just - for me, someone whose more or less ostricized by my family and doesn't have a great deal of friends, having someone who wants to by my side every single second of every single day - to lose him - cuts super deep. Not that it doesn't for everyone else, I know... just explaining why I keep talking about it.
Because he might be as close as I get to a son. Who knows. And I feel like I failed him, and I feel like I am failing him. Of course I felt like I should have done something to save my mom as well. Like somehow, I should have asked the questions that the doctors and nurses missed because I knew her better. Not that it makes sense but I also think of myself of a fixer. I fix things and since few people protected me growing up, I want to protect everyone and when I Can't do that for Shiloh, mom or anyone, I get frustrated
Had to put a beloved old boy down last summer. Took the afternoon off, took him on a last stroll around the homestead, went to McDonald's to get him a cheeseburger and ice cream cone, went on one final walk in the park.
It's hard, it hurts, but your point about quality of life really is true - imo it's better to let them go just a little too soon, than it is to force them to trudge through pain and suffering for our behalf. Assuming that's how you'd want a loved one to treat you.
All the best, and I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you. And yeah, I enjoy taking him on the walks and everything - the only tough part of the bucket list is look at it and thinking and realizing - that it's probably the last time we hit that particular park or that he gets to eat that or this etc... so its' bitter sweet but I'n doing my best to have him enjoy the last few days together