match.com - is this what it has come to?

Exactly.

I've been there recently. It's hard to put yourself out there, especially when you aren't confident in yourself.

If you aren't optimistic about your chances on a dating site then work on yourself for a little while. Take one hour, ever day, and go to the gym or go for a walk with your dog. That's ONE hour long TV show that you just have to skip. One show a day that you can do without.
Even if the results are drastic, you will feel better because you are DOING something about it.

I was single after 9 years of marriage and I had no clue what to do. I had no self confidence and I was depressed as crap. I started focusing on me, instead of worrying about my ex, and I felt better eventually.

Hang out with your friends more. I was somewhat alienated from my friends after my first marriage. I started hanging out with my friends more and I remembered how it felt to be myself. I'm a funny, happy guy. I had a blast tailgating and catching up with everyone. And if you're lucky, your friends wives might have someone they'd like you to meet.

But first you have to like yourself before anyone else can like you.
This was me after 18 years. My friends were mostly picked by the ex because if she didn't like them then we didn't like them. On top of it I live in NW Iowa which isn't really a hot spot for single 40 somethings.
I did match.com and found someone I am very happy with. Took a lot of surfing and a couple dates that weren't as described (which I don't get) but ya. Happy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cyclone27inQC
This was me after 18 years. My friends were mostly picked by the ex because if she didn't like them then we didn't like them. On top of it I live in NW Iowa which isn't really a hot spot for single 40 somethings.
I did match.com and found someone I am very happy with. Took a lot of surfing and a couple dates that weren't as described (which I don't get) but ya. Happy.

My ex doesn't have any friends of her own, so she leeched onto my friends. Of course they always did something to tick her off or she didn't feel like doing something with them so I ended up having to choose her over them. I love my friends. I realize I never should have given up so much for her. Now my friends all laugh with me about how much of a raging B she was/is.

My new fiance loves my friends and also has some of her own which is healthy for the relationship. She's not completely dependent on me all the time, but still wants to be with me most of the time. All good things. I'm much happier now.
 
I'm not a big fan of match, because there are a bunch of creepers out there. I think physical attraction is important initially, and with tinder I at least have some control over who can contact me online. If they're witty/intelligent, a date might happen. If they just want a piece of ***, off the list they go. I avoid the bar scene (people just looking for hookups) and my workplace doesn't have any viable dating options.

Hold on. Let me set up a Tinder account real quick.
 
I'm happily married but found this thread super intriguing, but not in a bad way. I hope I never have to be in this boat but I respect those that are and realize the reasons why online dating can be an attractive option. It makes sense, especially for those not in college and over the age of 22. Good work guys and girls on your constructive comments, and I'm sure your advise will help someone out there. Good luck to everyone who is looking to find that someone.
 
Last edited:
  • Agree
Reactions: CRcyclone6
Well, it looks like after 10 years of marriage I am back into the dating scene. This thread has been extremely helpful.

Since the thread of a couple of years old now I have a couple of questions.

For those how has used online dating what site (or sites) did you find most beneficial and why? There are a plethora of online dating site and I am trying to narrow them down. Also, is there any benefit / advantage to dating sites which are free (OKCupid) versus paid subscription (Match)?
 
New member here and also newly divorced. So married 10 years and moved here following my two young kids. I got on match and really miss the real thing of meeting someone before wasting my name chatting with ladies that are not as described. Here comes the sad part - new to the area (don't know anyone) and work in a very small office.

I don't tan, shave my body or wear bedazzled pants - if you do, I don't judge!

So let me hear what others have done or are doing?

I met my wife on an online dating site.

If you don't want to waste your time chatting with someone, suggest meeting for lunch or a drink when you first chat with them. Just at a neutral place. If they do not want to even do that right away, you might want to move along.
 
Well, it looks like after 10 years of marriage I am back into the dating scene. This thread has been extremely helpful.

Since the thread of a couple of years old now I have a couple of questions.

For those how has used online dating what site (or sites) did you find most beneficial and why? There are a plethora of online dating site and I am trying to narrow them down. Also, is there any benefit / advantage to dating sites which are free (OKCupid) versus paid subscription (Match)?

I used plenty of fish.
 
  • Informative
  • Useful
Reactions: ISUguy and Daserop
I have used online dating and found my current girlfriend (6 months). A couple of observations from my experience. I found using Match.com hard. I found the girls on it to be very picky and/or conservative in chatting with me. It made it hard to even try and meet with someone face to face. I didn't find the value in paying for the subscription to a place like match.com.

I found more success on the free sites. I found the girls to be more willing to engage in an online conversation, which led to more face to face dates. I most recently used coffee meets bagel.
 
Well, it looks like after 10 years of marriage I am back into the dating scene. This thread has been extremely helpful.

Since the thread of a couple of years old now I have a couple of questions.

For those how has used online dating what site (or sites) did you find most beneficial and why? There are a plethora of online dating site and I am trying to narrow them down. Also, is there any benefit / advantage to dating sites which are free (OKCupid) versus paid subscription (Match)?

I've had the most luck on eHarmony and okcupid. I don't know why but I've had zero luck at match. That said, I live 2 hours from any major population center so I think that plays into it. I think a lot of women look at that distance and aren't dying to drive that far, especially if they have kids.
 
Thanks for all the input. The general vibe I get, after reading peoples comments and talking with friends, is to do two sites; one paid and one that is free. A "don't put all your eggs in one basket" mentality. However, some of these paid sites are not cheap!
 
  • Creative
Reactions: casey1973
I did Match, had lots of 'success', if you know what I mean.

That being said, I think trying to get involved in some general activities like biking, volleyball, working out, hobbies, etc etc is also very important as well. If nothing else, it makes you more interesting to the people you meet online.

oh, and don't say 'chicks'. Apparently that is bad. ;)
 
I did Match, had lots of 'success', if you know what I mean.

That being said, I think trying to get involved in some general activities like biking, volleyball, working out, hobbies, etc etc is also very important as well. If nothing else, it makes you more interesting to the people you meet online.

oh, and don't say 'chicks'. Apparently that is bad. ;)

If your wife only knew ahead of time for your habit of forgetting your kids at school she might have reconsidered the meeting.
 
I did Match, had lots of 'success', if you know what I mean.

That being said, I think trying to get involved in some general activities like biking, volleyball, working out, hobbies, etc etc is also very important as well. If nothing else, it makes you more interesting to the people you meet online.

oh, and don't say 'chicks'. Apparently that is bad. ;)
:D
 
  • Like
Reactions: snowcraig2.0
So what happens with on line dating sites when after a few successful "dates" one party wants exclusivity, but the other keeps their status as "available"? seems like a set up for problems.
 

Help Support Us

Become a patron