match.com - is this what it has come to?
- Thread starter itown
- Start date
This is exactly how I feel. Joined match not long ago. I'm only 25 and never married but starting to reach the point where it'd be nice to have someone around.
I'm a little older but reached the same point at about the same time and have been on and off them for a couple years. I'd recommend over match but I should also say that I'm from a small town so there will likely be some sort of distance involved and I fee like people on eharmony are maybe a little more committed to it than people on match are. That's been my experience at least. Living in a city would likely make it much easier on either one.
My dooosh of a brother-in-law divorced his wife because after 10 years of marriage she had gained 10 pounds and had to buy new jeans; he described this development as making his life "miserable." Of course, he had gained at least 25 pounds.
I understand some physical attraction, but some people are just shallow and think that the appearance of their spouse somehow reflects upon them.My dooosh of a brother-in-law divorced his wife because after 10 years of marriage she had gained 10 pounds and had to buy new jeans; he described this development as making his life "miserable." Of course, he had gained at least 25 pounds.
Dad bod is sooo in right now, carvers...
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/women-lusting-dudes-dad-bod-article-1.2214449
The stigma has definitely lessened. You will still get some people who are surprised that you met someone online, but most people think it's cool.
Social media is so important now and your dating site/app just becomes another tool to meet and talk to people.
Whereas if you used an online dating service in the 80s or 90s it meant you were a complete loser who couldn't talk to the opposite sex.
I dated a couple of "hook-ups" from friends but they didn't work out. I didn't have a vast pool of single girls at work (who were worth hitting on) to hit on either. Online sites became an easy way to get myself out there, talk to a larger group of women, work on my flirting technique, and see if I could make anything happen.
I was never good at the "bar scene" in college so I knew that definitely wouldn't work for me now in my mid 30s with two kids.
It worked out well for me. I had to put in a lot of hours and have a lot of small talk, getting to know you, conversations, but it was worth it. I found a wonderful, sweet, and loving person who I plan to spend the rest of my life with.
The stigma has lessened enough that I would prefer to say that I met someone online rather than saying I met someone at a bar.
It's different for everyone. Some people are ok with being independent and unattached. Other people feel pretty lonely and want someone special in their lives.
I was single for over a year before I tried dating again. I had my boys a few nights a week, but when they were gone, my apartment felt really empty. I had some fun being independent and I definitely got better at taking care of myself. I miss being able to do whatever I want all the time, but I wouldn't give up what I have now for that.
It's different for different people.
This would have been nice.
You don't have to be lonely, at cyclonesonly.com!
It would be nice to know you have some core values in common. Like Fred Hoiberg is dreamy and the hawks suck.
I got hooked up with one hawk when I first started dating. She was a "my family's all hawks, so I'm a hawk" kind of fan, so she wasn't staunchly anti-cyclone. But it still felt like dating the town bicycle or a female version of Airbag, same thing really.
I'm not a big fan of match, because there are a bunch of creepers out there. I think physical attraction is important initially, and with tinder I at least have some control over who can contact me online. If they're witty/intelligent, a date might happen. If they just want a piece of ***, off the list they go. I avoid the bar scene (people just looking for hookups) and my workplace doesn't have any viable dating options.
My wife left after 23 years. It's been over 4 years since and I haven't gotten myself to try to date again yet. I live in a small town, don't do bars, and not much opportunity at work. Occasionally I'll think about dating, but can't get myself to try dating sites. That and I tell myself I'd be dumb to try looking for a relationship again. I'm starting to tell myself just to get use to be single.
There are all kinds of women out there though. The small town can hurt your chances some on dating sites though.
Doesn't hurt to try. If anything you have a chance at finding someone. If it doesn't work out then you know and you don't have to worry about it.
There are free dating sites/apps that you can use. Plenty of Fish is free and I think it has a decent amount of older women on it.
Honestly, dating is the only thing I am afraid of after college. I'm never gonna be in a place where there is 14,000+ females, in my age range, in a 10sq mile area again.
Like where the hell do you even find someone? Bars are for hookups, which if that is what you're looking for it is fine. I mean that hookup can turn into something, good for you but chances are slim. I don't wanna date someone at work because I've never seen it turn out well. How do I hit on a girl at church? A farmer's market? I mean where the hell am I supposed to go? Oh well...
Anyway, I think online dating has become so popular because people are realizing it is hard as **** to meet someone while not in college.
Like where the hell do you even find someone? Bars are for hookups, which if that is what you're looking for it is fine. I mean that hookup can turn into something, good for you but chances are slim. I don't wanna date someone at work because I've never seen it turn out well. How do I hit on a girl at church? A farmer's market? I mean where the hell am I supposed to go? Oh well...
Anyway, I think online dating has become so popular because people are realizing it is hard as **** to meet someone while not in college.
You have to stop that. Being single is great if that's what you truly want and are happy with it. If you are staying single because you tell yourself not to put yourself out there in fear of being hurt, that's not good. Maybe give one of these sites a shot. You may surprise yourself. Drop the defeatist attitude, you're better than that and you deserve to be happy. Everyone does.
Small talk. Then ask out for coffee in a public non threatening place or out with a group of friends. Whats the worst that could happen? She says no? Then shes not for you.
It is hard. I met my ex-wife in college and meeting girls there was relatively easy.
As you get older and your friends are all married, there will be opportunities for female friends to set you up with their girlfriends. That can work, but you can also end up with the girl in her late 20s with 8 cats. I got hooked up by a few of my friends and that helped me get started.
You can also get hookups from friends at work. Not with coworkers if you want to avoid that. But every dude your age who's married has a wife who has friends of a similar age.
If you're the type who likes to get involved, there are lots of single girls who volunteer for charities and other groups. You score points for volunteering for her favorite cause and there probably wont be THAT many other guys your age there.