Teams
Forum List
Toggle sidebar

match.com - is this what it has come to?

ISUCubswin said:
I feel like the more serious about yourself you are, the better the outcome. Chances are you're a lot more normal than most people on those sites.
Click to expand...

Yeah, you gotta wade through the crazies sometimes. I had women with grown up children message me. I just wasn't into that. If I'm more attracted to your adult daughter than you, it's probably not going to work out.

Also there are a surprising amount of women out there who are in their mid to late 20s and have NO JOB. That's just weird.

I'm old, but not that old.

However, don't be rude and don't be too quick to ignore women who message you. There are a lot of women who have more to them than their profile pics.

My fiance actually messaged me because she thought I was cute and I seemed like a nice guy. We started talking and it worked out great. She was really shy on the first date but it went great after that.

You have to really know what you are looking for. You can message a bunch of 24 year old hotties, but chances are you have nothing in common with them even if they are attracted to you. My fiance is a bit younger than I am but she's mature and we have a lot in common.
 
KCClone, don't take this bad but I would never picture you as old as you probably are. You are a great poster here.
Hopp has some great points.

This has been a good read.
 
ImJustKCClone said:
What Hopp said, with a couple of addendums:

It IS possible that your goal and/or her goal may evolve. If only one of you wants to deepen the relationship, best to end it. If both of you want the relationship to progress, bonus. But before you get to that stage, if one or both of you have kids at home, make sure the kids get to go on "group dates"...go carts, Big Creek, swimming pool, etc, and make sure that all kids get attention. One of the hardest things about blending families is blending kids. I don't know anyone (myself included) who has done that perfectly. No matter how much you & mom may love each other, if they don't accept the new parent and siblings, your life together will be a struggle.

Back in 92 I divorced after 16 years of marriage. I found myself a single mom with two very active teenage sons. I had no desire to saddle them with a stepfather, but I liked dancing & going to movies, and adult conversation. A friend talked me into responding to a few ads in the Datemaker in the Des Moines Register. I met some octopi, some nerds, and a few decent guys, but was really not interested in anything longterm. Despite a disastrous first date, I got stupid & fell in love with one of the nice ones. Fortunately, he did too, and we've been married since Dec 94. :)

Once you're post college-age, the dating pool shrinks considerably, and likely meeting spots are more limited as well. You sort through a lot of chaff, but there are kernels of wheat in the online sites. Just avoid the ones with Russian names. ;)
Click to expand...

Oh yeah, regarding kids, DON'T move too fast. You don't want to introduce your kids to a woman until you are really serious. It's not good for the kids and it's not good for your relationship. You want the woman to be interested in you first, then she has to fully accept the long term ramification of your kids. If she also has kids then that's even more to consider. Personally, I waited until my fiance and I had been dating for 6 months, but I think 4 months would be a minimum, particularly with young kids.

I had one girl who I thought was great at first. We had a lot of fun together and she seemed like she was just fine with me having kids. A few weeks later she called it quits because she didn't think she ever wanted kids, not even step-kids. Her loss, but it doesn't work for everyone. You have to make sure not to pressure them at all. Don't lie about it, but also don't scare them away.
 
married 8 years here. all the single girls i know who need to "get it out of their system" use tinder. none of the ones wanting something more use it.
 
itown said:
New member here and also newly divorced. So married 10 years and moved here following my two young kids. I got on match and really miss the real thing of meeting someone before wasting my name chatting with ladies that are not as described. Here comes the sad part - new to the area (don't know anyone) and work in a very small office.

I don't tan, shave my body or wear bedazzled pants - if you do, I don't judge!

So let me hear what others have done or are doing?
Click to expand...

I met my wife through a site like that called plentyoffish. Took awhile and definitely met some interesting people, but I didn't have a problem with it. I'm not really into the bar scene, went to a small church and have a small group of friends, so I didn't meet a lot of people in other ways. I figured, chat with a lot of people online, if they seemed interesting, maybe meet for lunch or something and if you get that far, its no different than if you hadn't met them online.
 
One of my wife's good friends got married last month to a guy she met on match.com so just stick with it until you meet someone worth dating. Patience is key when it comes to courting a long term relationship.
 
JP4CY said:
Oh and none of us do. You are just proving the point that people that are 60 are capable of technology and thought out responses unlike some of our parents.
Click to expand...

Heh. You might ask our kids if that's true. ;)

There's a wide variety among us boomers. I've had the good fortune to work with college students for most of my career. I enjoy talking to them and finding out about current trends and technology, but I don't LEARN the technology as fast as I used to...my smart phone is definitely smarter than I am!
 
  • Agree
Reactions: IsUaClone2
DandyCyclone said:
One of my wife's good friends got married last month to a guy she met on match.com so just stick with it until you meet someone worth dating. Patience is key when it comes to courting a long term relationship.
Click to expand...

that's the key. Don't get discouraged if you haven't found what you're looking for right away.
 
Here's a few more tips.

Your Profile:
After you get some good pictures, you also have to fill out your profile. It might not make you, but it can break you. Don't leave it blank and tell them to just message you. That doesn't usually work unless you are a model. Spelling and grammar are more important than you think. If you sound like a dumb *** it will affect their opinion.

Be upfront about what you are really looking for, but tread lightly. If your goal is to find someone to marry, then say you are looking for a relationship but don't scare anyone away. Be casual and laid back but not so casual that they think you aren't serious. It's a delicate balance.

Tailor your interests to appeal to the kind of woman you are looking for. One of my biggest interests is sports, but I definitely didn't lead with that because some girls hate sports and if you lead with it they will think that's all you care about. The girls that like sports will notice if you put it a few lines in. I love music so I led with that. I also included movies and reading as well as sports. I was up front and said that I was a divorced father of two. You don't want to spring that on anyone. They need to know what they are getting into or they will bolt.


Don't make it too long or too short. Enough so that they get an idea of what kind of guy you are, but if it's too long they likely wont read it all.
 
Clark said:
that's the key. Don't get discouraged if you haven't found what you're looking for right away.
Click to expand...

Oh lord yes. Some of my first attempts at dating were really bad. Just no chemistry at all.

Practice, practice, practice.
 
cyhiphopp said:
Oh lord yes. Some of my first attempts at dating were really bad. Just no chemistry at all.

Practice, practice, practice.
Click to expand...

well if my current girlfriend works out I'll have to move to Altoona. If that happens I'll buy you a beer and we can tell our dating stories
 
Clark said:
well if my current girlfriend works out I'll have to move to Altoona. If that happens I'll buy you a beer and we can tell our dating stories
Click to expand...

As long as you don't mention the song that shall not be named we can all go out for a double date.
 
JP4CY said:
Oh and none of us do. You are just proving the point that people that are 60 are capable of technology and thought out responses unlike some of our parents.
Click to expand...

I read this and thought of this.....

556bcd137b6f4bdb28de7c748b166151.jpg
 
I went on a date this past week and she told me I look better in person. I knew I didn't have the best pictures but I almost got up and left to have a professional take some and update my profile. You are not kidding - pictures are important!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Help Support Us

Become a patron
Top Bottom
Back