Looking ahead at the next 5 years of my life and will most likely be a grandparent. For the grandparents out there, what are some things you've done (new hobbies you've taken up that you do with your grandkids, or investments into things like maybe a lake home or a swimming pool) that you are really happy you did that has become a huge part of what you do with your grandkids?
Planning to be a grandparent
- Thread starter exCYtable
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It is really very simple. Let each, and every grandchild, know that they are the most important person in your life !
As a parent of three 5 and under, please don’t forget to still be a parent to your kids and their spouses. Give them help even if they don’t ask for it. Bring food, change some diapers, let the parents have a date night etc
Spend time with your grandkids even if it means getting on the floor.
Spend time with your grandkids even if it means getting on the floor.
This, I’m grateful for our parent in laws that do a long kids weekend at their lake (granted my kids are a little older so they don’t have to change diapers).
Babysit so parents can have a date periodically.
Help set up a 529 plan and put money towards their college.
When they get a little older, go to their activities, baseball, softball, dance whatever.
If the new parents want to do Christmas, Easter, thanksgiving on their own with their new family. Don’t fret about it but Realize they want to pour into their family and be fine with that.
Time and love. Show up to their stuff. We all know tball and little kid dance recitals aren't about being world Champs but show them attention.
If you have the finances to do the lake home and stuff awesome, but if you can throw 50 bucks a month in their 529 they will really appreciate it when it's time to go to college.
Financial stuff for them is great but love and attention will make better memories.
It seems once kids get past about 10 their lives get really busy. To see them you'll be going to their stuff not coming to see you.
If you have the finances to do the lake home and stuff awesome, but if you can throw 50 bucks a month in their 529 they will really appreciate it when it's time to go to college.
Financial stuff for them is great but love and attention will make better memories.
It seems once kids get past about 10 their lives get really busy. To see them you'll be going to their stuff not coming to see you.
Not a grandparent yet but did recently watch four little great nieces and nephews during a family emergency. Four kids 8 and under.
I would say get to the best physical shape you can. We are in pretty good shape for early sixties but were exhausted after a week.
I would also say at least early on with a new grandchild, ask rather than just show up. My mother came and helped for about a week on our first son. Help I wanted. Unless I asked, Mom left the baby to us and did the other things, like cooking, shopping, laundry, and cleaning. My awful MIL came to help after that and even my husband couldn’t wait for her to leave. Everything we did was wrong in her view. She declared herself best mother ever. I wasn’t going to lay down until baby was down so she would stay up all night holding him and would refuse to let me put him in bassinet. Husband finally told her off. So important to understand that the parents are in charge.
Take an active part in their activities if they are close by. Very helpful when multiple kids playing baseball all stars in multiple towns on same day to have my brothers help out. One of them was there to get one of our boys checked out when he got a concussion.
I would say get to the best physical shape you can. We are in pretty good shape for early sixties but were exhausted after a week.
I would also say at least early on with a new grandchild, ask rather than just show up. My mother came and helped for about a week on our first son. Help I wanted. Unless I asked, Mom left the baby to us and did the other things, like cooking, shopping, laundry, and cleaning. My awful MIL came to help after that and even my husband couldn’t wait for her to leave. Everything we did was wrong in her view. She declared herself best mother ever. I wasn’t going to lay down until baby was down so she would stay up all night holding him and would refuse to let me put him in bassinet. Husband finally told her off. So important to understand that the parents are in charge.
Take an active part in their activities if they are close by. Very helpful when multiple kids playing baseball all stars in multiple towns on same day to have my brothers help out. One of them was there to get one of our boys checked out when he got a concussion.
I too hope to be a grandparent in the next few years. I can’t wait. After watching my parents and my in-laws I learned a lot. I found that you don’t have to be geographically close to be a great Grandparent. It is all about effort and priorities. Make sure the time you spend with them is quality time and let them know that they are very much loved by you. My parents lived 2 states away from my kids and my in-laws lived in the same town. My kids had a much closer relationship with my parents growing up. It was important to my parents that they were grandparents and they showed my kids that through their actions. My in-laws did not have the same relationship. They were older and they seemed to go through the motions of being grandparents at times. They loved my kids but they did not make them a priority. My mom even bought a PlayStation and tons of games. It wasn’t for the kids, it was for her. She played them on her own and became really good at them. Then she would call the grandkids to discuss the games. She could play right with them too. Talk about a cool grandma.
Honestly try and respect the wishes of your children:
If your kids say please don't feed them pure sugar (give them some but don't go over the top).
Ask your kids if you are allowed to share photos of your grandkids online before you automatically assume.
And make sure when the grandchildren are born you clean hands frequently before you pick them up and hold them. Also, try not to kiss their forehead at the beginning.
If your kids say please don't feed them pure sugar (give them some but don't go over the top).
Ask your kids if you are allowed to share photos of your grandkids online before you automatically assume.
And make sure when the grandchildren are born you clean hands frequently before you pick them up and hold them. Also, try not to kiss their forehead at the beginning.
My parents and in laws are awesome with all of this. My dad has a torn meniscus in one knee and arthritis in the other but still gets down on the floor to race toy cars with my son
Marry a trophy wife so you have a younger one to keep up with them.
Good advice so far, thanks! These are the threads I love on CyFan. Helpful info and not just everyone tearing each other down.
Since you say next 5 yrs, I'd say not to nag or ask when kids are coming. Never know if there's been a loss or difficulty. Be prepared they may want to do holidays differently with their own nuclear family than you imagined. Agree with getting down on the floor and interacting. And honestly instead of a pool I'd want $$$ for daycare 
Be part of their life is the best thing you can do, we have been made the drive to Ames for T ball games and music concerts 4 times in the last couple of months. We try to see the close two at least once a month if not more.
The other two we do zoom calls with them every couple of weeks. We are leaving tomorrow for S. Carolina to spend the week with them, its hard to see them when they are 15 hours away.
We have had grandkids week for the past couple of years, before the boy moved, took all four during the week to our house, gave their parents a break.
Holidays are a pain, our plan is simple, do not care when all three of you are home, but I want you here all that the same time. The weekend before Christmas, after Christmas I could care less, I also tell them that their kids should be at home on Christmas day, enjoying their toys.
The other two we do zoom calls with them every couple of weeks. We are leaving tomorrow for S. Carolina to spend the week with them, its hard to see them when they are 15 hours away.
We have had grandkids week for the past couple of years, before the boy moved, took all four during the week to our house, gave their parents a break.
Holidays are a pain, our plan is simple, do not care when all three of you are home, but I want you here all that the same time. The weekend before Christmas, after Christmas I could care less, I also tell them that their kids should be at home on Christmas day, enjoying their toys.
This may seem like crazy but for things like physical attention: hugs and kisses. Ask the grandkids if they would like a goodbye hug instead of chasing them down and getting one. It empowers them to choose what they want for physical touch with their body.
I married a lady who has become a fantastic grandmother, great encore to being a great mother. It's to her credit that our grandkids plead to visit and stay over as much as possible. They get spoiled just a little, since that's a primary responsibility of grandparents, eat all they want, stay up a little later, get a little bit more screen time maybe, a few little treats. Lots of love compliments. Hopefully we won't age out of their lives, as can happen when life gets busy, but we'll always have time if they have time.
Can't buy your way into their lives, just make room in yours.
There are a lot a kids out there that can use a stable, older person in their life. It doesn't take long to find a couple.