"Work Spouse"

This is a good reminder that I may need to stop using the term "work wife". I never would have implied any sort of physical attraction/relationship with the term but now that I know many do....ewww
 
This is a good reminder that I may need to stop using the term "work wife". I never would have implied any sort of physical attraction/relationship with the term but now that I know many do....ewww
I've always thought the concept of a work wife/husband to be particularly creepy and wildly unprofessional. Then again, I typically keep my work and personal life separate. I'm friendly with my co-workers, but really have zero interest in socializing with them outside of work.
 
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I've always thought the concept of a work wife/husband to be particularly creepy and wildly unprofessional. Then again, I typically keep my work and personal life separate. I'm friendly with my co-workers, but really have zero interest in socializing with them outside of work.
It's fascinating to me how some people can keep it so separated. There's a guy on my team who, earlier this summer, messaged me on a Monday and said, "Hey I need to take two weeks off starting tomorrow.". I asked if everything was okay, and he assured me that it was. I said that because of the length of time and short notice that it had to go above me for approval. He was fine with that, and said if HR needed to know that it was because his wife had had a baby the night before. After I submitted the request, my boss was asking me how I didn't know that this guy's wife was pregnant, (because the company tries to send a gift.)

I told my boss that not only had he never shared with anyone that he was going to be a father, he'd never shared that he was married at all. The guy was just incredibly private. He wanted no congratulations. Didn't want anyone else on the team to know. Super nice guy. Good at his job. Very friendly and sociable. Participates in outings and get togethers. Just likes to keep things entirely separate.
 
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It's fascinating to me how some people can keep it so separated. There's a guy on my team who, earlier this summer, messaged me on a Monday and said, "Hey I need to take two weeks off starting tomorrow.". I asked if everything was okay, and he assured me that it was. I said that because of the length of time and short notice that it had to go above me for approval. He was fine with that, and said if HR needed to know that it was because his wife had had a baby the night before. After I submitted the request, my boss was asking me how I didn't know that this guy's wife was pregnant, (because the company tries to send a gift.)

I told my boss that not only had he never shared with anyone that he was going to be a father, he'd never shared that he was married at all. The guy was just incredibly private. He wanted no congratulations. Didn't want anyone else on the team to know. Super nice guy. Good at his job. Very friendly and sociable. Participates in outings and get togethers. Just likes to keep things entirely separate.

I definitely don't keep it that separate. I mean I ask about what's going on in my co-worker's lives and I share what's going on in mine but it's the most surface level stuff. I mean I don't think they'd say I'm their friend and I wouldn't go that far either. I'll go to the outings but honestly probably only if they are during work hours. Most people consider me to be pretty outgoing and I'm becoming more that way as I get older. It's just not anything I'm interested in from a work situation.
 
It's fascinating to me how some people can keep it so separated. There's a guy on my team who, earlier this summer, messaged me on a Monday and said, "Hey I need to take two weeks off starting tomorrow.". I asked if everything was okay, and he assured me that it was. I said that because of the length of time and short notice that it had to go above me for approval. He was fine with that, and said if HR needed to know that it was because his wife had had a baby the night before. After I submitted the request, my boss was asking me how I didn't know that this guy's wife was pregnant, (because the company tries to send a gift.)

I told my boss that not only had he never shared with anyone that he was going to be a father, he'd never shared that he was married at all. The guy was just incredibly private. He wanted no congratulations. Didn't want anyone else on the team to know. Super nice guy. Good at his job. Very friendly and sociable. Participates in outings and get togethers. Just likes to keep things entirely separate.
That's some next level separation!

There's a big difference (in my world) between being part of the team and making the team a big part of your social life. I've always participated in office events or outings, but really only the official parts. I've pretty much always noped out of going on to another bar or something and continuing the outing.

I had my first work trip a couple of months ago since Covid, and the first since joining my current company. It's the only time I've met my co-workers in person. After a day of meetings, we went to dinner together and I couldn't tell you how happy I was when everyone went their separate ways by 7:30.
 
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I've always thought the concept of a work wife/husband to be particularly creepy and wildly unprofessional. Then again, I typically keep my work and personal life separate. I'm friendly with my co-workers, but really have zero interest in socializing with them outside of work.
This is a great example of what I'm talking about. People just interpret it very differently. People I've joked with as being my "work wife" are generally my assistants who I frankly spend more time with than my wife. They get to know me very well and ideally are able to anticipate my needs. They keep me organized and help me run my work life. There has never been anything even remotely romantic/sexual about it at all. We don't talk outside of work or anything like that.

I just hadn't really thought about the fact that others view the term "work wife" from a different perspective which now in hindsight could create undesirable reactions if I were to use that term in a social setting.

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My work spouse is my friend who I happened to go to high school with and roomed together in college with who somehow now works two cubes over in the office with me. It's all very romantic.
 
I don't know that I've ever had someone I'd call a "work spouse" and frankly, I find that term a little cringeworthy, but I definitely tend to form close bonds and strong friendships at work. Some of my closest friends are people that I've worked with, and that seems logical to me, considering the amount of time you spend together and shared experiences.
This response can be labeled, My wife is also on this message board.

I believe in the old statement that men can’t have women as friends that they don’t want to bone.
 
This response can be labeled, My wife is also on this message board.

I believe in the old statement that men can’t have women as friends that they don’t want to bone.
Lol. There might be something to that.

That said, my wife and I worked at the same company in the same department, when we started dating and throughout our engagement. Then we both took jobs with different companies that were located on different floors of the same office building.
Since COVID, we've both transitioned to 100% remote, so for the majority of my career, I guess you could say that my work spouse has been my actual spouse. Not something that works for all couples, but we do well with it.
 
Lol. There might be something to that.

That said, my wife and I worked at the same company in the same department, when we started dating and throughout our engagement. Then we both took jobs with different companies that were located on different floors of the same office building.
Since COVID, we've both transitioned to 100% remote, so for the majority of my career, I guess you could say that my work spouse has been my actual spouse. Not something that works for all couples, but we do well with it.
Role playing huh?
 
Honestly, I've always viewed the term work spouse as someone who you jokingly spend more time with than your actually spouse. Primarily because our culture prioritizes work than personal time.
 
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My wife always claimed I had a work wife but on a different aspect. The president's admin assistant and I would both work 50+ hours and be in there on nights and weekends, so the wife would joke that she was my work wife. We are friends and get along well but rarely even talk to each other. For one, she is a widow and 10 years older than me (and a huge Hawkeye fan). It was all strictly business related. Now we are in different buildings so I only see her about once per quarter.
You are a stronger man than most.
 
I knew a guy that got caught doing his work wife on the conference room table. they both left the company. Don’t know if it was embarrassment or HR.
 
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