So I'm getting to the point where weddings are going to be in my kids future sooner than later. I have girls, sooo are the boy helping to pay now? how much should I plan for. I don't expect extravagance for any of them. If was going to write a check to the couple for X and they can do anything they want. Elope or what ever what would the amount be.
Wedding Cost
- Thread starter IceCyIce
- Start date
We got married 7 yrs ago. Then, the "tradition" was that brides family paid for wedding and reception. Grooms family paid for rehearsal dinner and flowers.
We had a decently modest wedding in Des Moines at a church then a holiday inn. Our wedding was $12-$15k. We had about 140 guests with a plated meal.
My parents paid for my dress and a lump sum that we put toward the reception nearly six years ago. Husband's paid for the cake and alcohol. Possibly flowers as well but that wasn't too much. They also hosted the rehearsal which was a cookout at their house so not nearly as $$ as a restaurant deal would have been. Spouse and I paid for the rest.
The amount you give is entirely dependent on what you want to give, imo. Talk with your kids as things get closer and there is an idea of the budget. I'd give you a number but I don't know your financial situation nor that of your kids + location. $5000 toward a rural Iowa wedding will go much further than a downtown Chicago wedding.
The amount you give is entirely dependent on what you want to give, imo. Talk with your kids as things get closer and there is an idea of the budget. I'd give you a number but I don't know your financial situation nor that of your kids + location. $5000 toward a rural Iowa wedding will go much further than a downtown Chicago wedding.
Wife and I got married last year and it cost about $25k. her family contributed ~$12,500, my family ~$5,000 and the wife and i spent ~$7,500 of our own money.
We paid 3k to go to Vegas for a week and got married at The Chapel at Treasure Island. 4 of our best friends had just moved or there after graduation. Wouldn't change av thing except maybe go to a beach somewhere.
Pay for them to have a destination wedding. Will be much more fun for everyone and cheaper. If people won't pay to go, they obviously aren't that important.
Planning a traditional wedding for us got unbarable with family/parents after a while.
I know it's not for everyone, but a wedding should be about the couple, be fun and not bankrupt the family. It's, not to show off.
Pay for them to have a destination wedding. Will be much more fun for everyone and cheaper. If people won't pay to go, they obviously aren't that important.
Planning a traditional wedding for us got unbarable with family/parents after a while.
I know it's not for everyone, but a wedding should be about the couple, be fun and not bankrupt the family. It's, not to show off.
oh yeah, if you are going to give money, please don't tie strings to it. IE, you have to invite these 20 distant people you don't even know, so-and-so can't be invited, you have to serve this entree option, etc.
We had 30 people, cocktail hour with light hors d'oeuvres in one room, 2 minute ceremony and dinner in another. $3000.
We spent about $20,000 or so, though some of that was honeymoon.
Her mom bought her dress for a few thousand.
Her dad gave me $5,000 for expenses/a wedding present.
I paid for the rest plus the honeymoon.
Paid for the open bar -- $$$ but made it much more fun for everybody involved.
Got a few thousand back in cash gifts from the ceremony.
Seems 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 (or 1/2, 1/4, 1/4 or something like that) is the thing now.
Yeah. These suckers aren't cheap. :/
Her mom bought her dress for a few thousand.
Her dad gave me $5,000 for expenses/a wedding present.
I paid for the rest plus the honeymoon.
Paid for the open bar -- $$$ but made it much more fun for everybody involved.
Got a few thousand back in cash gifts from the ceremony.
Seems 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 (or 1/2, 1/4, 1/4 or something like that) is the thing now.
Yeah. These suckers aren't cheap. :/
Ours was around $12k total. My wife's family paid for the church (her grandparents paid for this), reception including plated meal for 300 some people (big families and well were popular 
) and flowers. The food was 1/2 off though since my MIL knew the head chef. My parents paid for the trolley, DJ, pastor and rehearsal dinner which was just a cookout at a nearby park. Her family obviously paid for the bulk of things.
) and flowers. The food was 1/2 off though since my MIL knew the head chef. My parents paid for the trolley, DJ, pastor and rehearsal dinner which was just a cookout at a nearby park. Her family obviously paid for the bulk of things.I do some wedding photography. Try to push for an elopement or small "intimate" wedding. That's a really big trend right now but most newly engaged people don't think about it. My wife and I wish we would have done a destination wedding with 1-2 dozen friends and family. Why invite 200+ people to your wedding? Just invite who you want that will make your day more special. Not distant relatives because you're afraid to offend them. They probably don't want to go anyways.
Why spend this much on a wedding?
We spent roughly 2K.
We spent roughly 2K.
Spent about $500 (second marriage for both of us). Blowing $10-20 grand is insane.
I was thinking giving 10K to the couple, they can do what they want. Unless the grooms parents kick in not sure 10 K does the Job. I like the the idea of a destination deal. Go to Vegas or what ever have a select group there and have a reception only back home. This was the kids can get their gifts and cash to start their lives.
I don't care what style of wedding you have for your daughter, but I highly encourage you, whether it is down the aisle of a church or a 50 foot walk on a beach in Mexico, you should always walk your daughter down an aisle. It will be important for both of you later to have that memory.
I don't think the tradition is all that relevant anymore. Spend what you want to spend, let your kids figure out the rest.
I'd rather buy something cool than spend 20k on one day.
I agree with this because I had to deal with a MIL who tried to do this same thing. The number of guests is a huge driver of the total budget, so we had a cap on the total guests the parents could invite. MIL was going to give additional cash so we could invite more people from her work so nothing was awkward for her with only some being invited. Had to politely tell her no because the wife and I had coworkers we weren't inviting because of the budget, so it was not fair to us.
As far as what you give, I don't think the brides parents paying for the wedding is really expected any more. We received 3-4k from each set of parents and we paid for the rest. If you have multiple children and you plan to give to all of their weddings, you'll definitely want to determine an amount you are comfortable giving for all of them.