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The Official Friday thread......

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Brodie: But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and de-board. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0641168/Gill: Well, did he cum, or what?
Brodie: Jesus *Christ*, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!
 
dosry5 said:
Brodie: But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and de-board. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
Gill: Well, did he cum, or what?
Brodie: Jesus *Christ*, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!
Click to expand...
"How else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?"
 
My most cringe-worthy: when I lived in England, I worked at a fairly upscale restaurant. We had some regulars, one of whom was an older, unattractive gentleman. I usually worked supper to close, which was around 3 am, and would often end the night with a few nightcaps. One night this gentleman invited me back to his flat. I was fairly wasted, so agreed. While we didn't completely hook up, there was definitely heavy petting involved. He kept saying how lovely I was. I finally stumbled home around 5 am. A few weeks later I was fired. They said it was due to chronic lateness, but I have a feeling that gentleman was also involved. It didn't really matter as I was leaving to come back to the states anyway.

Not one of my better moments.
 
MoreCowbell said:
My most cringe-worthy: when I lived in England, I worked at a fairly upscale restaurant. We had some regulars, one of whom was an older gentleman. I usually worked supper to close, which was around 3 am, and would often end the night with a few nightcaps. One night this gentleman invited me back to his flat. I was fairly wasted, so agreed. While we didn't completely hook up, there was definitely heavy petting involved. He kept saying how lovely I was. I finally stumbled home around 5 am. A few weeks later I was fired. They said it was due to chronic lateness, but I have a feeling that gentleman was also involved. It didn't really matter as I was leaving to come back to the states anyway.

Not one of my better moments.
Click to expand...
And I'm back.
 
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MoreCowbell said:
My most cringe-worthy: when I lived in England, I worked at a fairly upscale restaurant. We had some regulars, one of whom was an older gentleman. I usually worked supper to close, which was around 3 am, and would often end the night with a few nightcaps. One night this gentleman invited me back to his flat. I was fairly wasted, so agreed. While we didn't completely hook up, there was definitely heavy petting involved. He kept saying how lovely I was. I finally stumbled home around 5 am. A few weeks later I was fired. They said it was due to chronic lateness, but I have a feeling that gentleman was also involved. It didn't really matter as I was leaving to come back to the states anyway.

Not one of my better moments.
Click to expand...

This is AWESOME! Now every time you post I'm going to read it with a British accent.
 
dosry5 said:
Brodie: But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and de-board. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
Gill: Well, did he cum, or what?
Brodie: Jesus *Christ*, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!
Click to expand...
My cousin walter once got a cat stuck in his ***. It was all over the news and made a big scene. Well the very next week the same thing happened to him and I says to him, "Jesus Walter, why do you keep sticking cats in your ***? You know its just going to get stuck again so why dont you know it off?" He says to me, "Brodie, man, how else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousins a weird guy.
 
GeronimusClone said:
Story 2
I was going to school at Iowa State, but commuted. I had a friend in town who lived with a chick, not dating just friends. He had a thing for her and occasionally they'd hook up. Well, I got snowed in one night, stayed with them. We went to the bar and got lit up.
I ended up sleeping with her, he found out the next morning, then had to spend the entire next day - just the three of us sitting around awkwardly because it was still blizzarding out. By the end of the day I just said a prayer, got in the car and busted drifts. Death would have been a sweet release from that torture.
Click to expand...

That sounds like the most miserable situation imaginable.

To be honest, I was expecting you to have a story ending in someone wetting the bed...
 
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