The Official Friday thread......

[GeronimusClone]

I would like to hear GC's top 10 rules for dating or picking up chicks at the bar which these days basically constitutes dating..... I think his top 10 rules would be classic...

Give me a minute, that may take some time.

 

[Al_4_State]

In his man-purse. I mean satchel.

Why did you park so close?

 

[Cyclonestate78]

So I've been saving this for the Friday thread. I work with a single lady who just turned 42. She fakebakes at least 4 times a week. Wears Hollister & Abercrombie clothing. She told me on Tuesday that she loves Hinder and she drinks Red Bull all the time.

I'd be willing to bet my reproductive organ that she is a HUGE cougar. I mean, what I just described is like hitting for the cycle if you're a cougar right?

There is only one way to find out.

You must hit it. :yes:

 

[CylentButDeadly]

Sounds like Creed when he thought he was going to get fired

I don't think her hair is dyed and she hasn't called anyone bro yet. So far as I know she hasn't sold any office items yet either.

 

[Al_4_State]

I don't think her hair is dyed and she hasn't called anyone bro yet. So far as I know she hasn't sold any office items yet either.

Don't know if you answered this question yet, but is she remotely attractive/

 

[Cyclonestate78]

In his man-purse. I mean satchel.

Did someone wake up on the wrong side of GC's bed?

 

[dosry5]

Don't know if you answered this question yet, but is she remotely attractive/

I asked him to PM me a pic, but no dice yet. I think he's making it up.

 

[dosry5]

Did someone wake up on the wrong side of GC's bed?

when you live in a van down by the river....can you actually wake up on the wrong side of the inflatable mattress stuffed into the back?

 

[Cyclonestate78]

I asked him to PM me a pic, but no dice yet. I think he's making it up.

He has no shame after last Friday's nuclear fart fest at work... I am sure she is posing for the cellphone camera shots right now.. :wink:

 

[CylentButDeadly]

Don't know if you answered this question yet, but is she remotely attractive/

She is. She has a good body, decent rack. But she is really tan from all the fakebaking, and not like a good tan, I'm talking, "Whoa, somebody needs to step away from the booth" type tan.

Her turnoffs really really...well, turn me off.

-She texts her friends constantly, even while she's having conversations with people
-SHE LIKES HINDER (probably should have listed that #1)
-She frequents Ms. Kitty's on "off nights"
-She seems kind of stupid and ditsy, but not in a cute way.

...back to the original question though. If I saw her out and we were both drunk and she wanted to ride the bologna poney, I'd totally let her saddle up.

 

[CylentButDeadly]

I asked him to PM me a pic, but no dice yet. I think he's making it up.

I can't upload pics from my phone. I'm going to check and see if she's on Facebook or Myspace real quick.

 

[Cyclonestate78]

when you live in a van down by the river....can you actually wake up on the wrong side of the inflatable mattress stuffed into the back?

Trying to answer that is like trying to find the answer to the meaning of life. Many scholars have tried and failed.

 

[Cyclonestate78]

I can't upload pics from my phone. I'm going to check and see if she's on Facebook or Myspace real quick.

Oh she definitely is. lol

 

[GeronimusClone]

I would like to hear GC's top 10 rules for dating or picking up chicks at the bar which these days basically constitutes dating..... I think his top 10 rules would be classic...

10) When going out, make sure to bring friends less attractive than you or at the very least, less skilled at picking up women. Nothing worse than having your good looking friend snake a chick from you at 2 a.m. after you spent three hours and $80 trying to get her back to your place.
9) Never spend three hours and $80 on a chick trying to get her back to your place. If she’s not ready to roll in the first 20 minutes, move on.
8) Gauge what kind of drinker you’re dealing with. Nothing more embarrassing than trying to keep up with her while attempting to get her the right amount of drunk and then being too drunk to proceed.
7) Whiskey **** is no joke.
6) If you’re working a girl and she grabs your hand and takes outside thumb position, get rid of her immediately. She’s a controlling *****.
5) Don’t forget her name. You can remember it by associating it with something you want to do with her later.
4) If you feel like she’s interested and possibly going to let you do dirty things to her, keep an eye out for lurkers. These are those dudes who wear v-neck t-shirts and spend an hour on their hair to get it just the right amount of “messy” before going out. They don’t buy a chick a drink or anything but will swoop on you the second you go take a ****. Hold it, get her out of there ASAP and stop to pee on the way back to her place – also a good way to stop and get rubs.
3) Always go back to her place, don’t want her knowing where you live.
2) Always wear rubs.
1) I always have a cab on speed dial – call him right before the deed from her bathroom. Tell him to sit outside and leave the engine running. When finished, go to the bathroom to “clean up” and bolt.

 

[Cyclonestate78]

...back to the original question though. If I saw her out and we were both drunk and she wanted to ride the bologna poney, I'd totally let her saddle up.

+1 I may not be able to continue working today.... It could take me an hour to stop laughing.

 

[CylentButDeadly]

10) When going out, make sure to bring friends less attractive than you or at the very least, less skilled at picking up women. Nothing worse than having your good looking friend snake a chick from you at 2 a.m. after you spent three hours and $80 trying to get her back to your place.
9) Never spend three hours and $80 on a chick trying to get her back to your place. If she’s not ready to roll in the first 20 minutes, move on.
8) Gauge what kind of drinker you’re dealing with. Nothing more embarrassing than trying to keep up with her while attempting to get her the right amount of drunk and then being too drunk to proceed.
7) Whiskey **** is no joke.
6) If you’re working a girl and she grabs your hand and takes outside thumb position, get rid of her immediately. She’s a controlling *****.
5) Don’t forget her name. You can remember it by associating it with something you want to do with her later.
4) If you feel like she’s interested and possibly going to let you do dirty things to her, keep an eye out for lurkers. These are those dudes who wear v-neck t-shirts and spend an hour on their hair to get it just the right amount of “messy†before going out. They don’t buy a chick a drink or anything but will swoop on you the second you go take a ****. Hold it, get her out of there ASAP and stop to pee on the way back to her place – also a good way to stop and get rubs.
3) Always go back to her place, don’t want her knowing where you live.
2) Always wear rubs.
1) I always have a cab on speed dial – call him right before the deed from her bathroom. Tell him to sit outside and leave the engine running. When finished, go to the bathroom to “clean up†and bolt.

Can I get that printed up on a poster or t-shirt or something?

 

[dosry5]

10) When going out, make sure to bring friends less attractive than you or at the very least, less skilled at picking up women. Nothing worse than having your good looking friend snake a chick from you at 2 a.m. after you spent three hours and $80 trying to get her back to your place.
9) Never spend three hours and $80 on a chick trying to get her back to your place. If she’s not ready to roll in the first 20 minutes, move on.
8) Gauge what kind of drinker you’re dealing with. Nothing more embarrassing than trying to keep up with her while attempting to get her the right amount of drunk and then being too drunk to proceed.
7) Whiskey **** is no joke.
6) If you’re working a girl and she grabs your hand and takes outside thumb position, get rid of her immediately. She’s a controlling *****.
5) Don’t forget her name. You can remember it by associating it with something you want to do with her later.
4) If you feel like she’s interested and possibly going to let you do dirty things to her, keep an eye out for lurkers. These are those dudes who wear v-neck t-shirts and spend an hour on their hair to get it just the right amount of “messy†before going out. They don’t buy a chick a drink or anything but will swoop on you the second you go take a ****. Hold it, get her out of there ASAP and stop to pee on the way back to her place – also a good way to stop and get rubs.
3) Always go back to her place, don’t want her knowing where you live.
2) Always wear rubs.
1) I always have a cab on speed dial – call him right before the deed from her bathroom. Tell him to sit outside and leave the engine running. When finished, go to the bathroom to “clean up†and bolt.

Hey, wait a sec.....does #10 apply to me?

 

[Al_4_State]

She is. She has a good body, decent rack. But she is really tan from all the fakebaking, and not like a good tan, I'm talking, "Whoa, somebody needs to step away from the booth" type tan.

Her turnoffs really really...well, turn me off.

-She texts her friends constantly, even while she's having conversations with people
-SHE LIKES HINDER (probably should have listed that #1)
-She frequents Ms. Kitty's on "off nights"
-She seems kind of stupid and ditsy, but not in a cute way.

...back to the original question though. If I saw her out and we were both drunk and she wanted to ride the bologna poney, I'd totally let her saddle up.

While all of these would make her un-dateable, none of them make her un-****able. Pony up champ.

 

[CylentButDeadly]

FYI - The "cougar" is on Facebook but I don't feel comfortable posting the link.

 

[MoreCowbell]

10) When going out, make sure to bring friends less attractive than you or at the very least, less skilled at picking up women. Nothing worse than having your good looking friend snake a chick from you at 2 a.m. after you spent three hours and $80 trying to get her back to your place.
9) Never spend three hours and $80 on a chick trying to get her back to your place. If she’s not ready to roll in the first 20 minutes, move on.
8) Gauge what kind of drinker you’re dealing with. Nothing more embarrassing than trying to keep up with her while attempting to get her the right amount of drunk and then being too drunk to proceed.
7) Whiskey **** is no joke.
6) If you’re working a girl and she grabs your hand and takes outside thumb position, get rid of her immediately. She’s a controlling *****.
5) Don’t forget her name. You can remember it by associating it with something you want to do with her later.
4) If you feel like she’s interested and possibly going to let you do dirty things to her, keep an eye out for lurkers. These are those dudes who wear v-neck t-shirts and spend an hour on their hair to get it just the right amount of “messy†before going out. They don’t buy a chick a drink or anything but will swoop on you the second you go take a ****. Hold it, get her out of there ASAP and stop to pee on the way back to her place – also a good way to stop and get rubs.
3) Always go back to her place, don’t want her knowing where you live.
2) Always wear rubs.
1) I always have a cab on speed dial – call him right before the deed from her bathroom. Tell him to sit outside and leave the engine running. When finished, go to the bathroom to “clean up†and bolt.

Nice.

It's times like these I'm so glad I'm married. Though I do miss the free drinks.