Greetings from Utah!

He had like 150 punt return yards on a day we had to punt a lot.

It was probably the biggest blowout we've had, and we've had a lot. What makes it worse is I think ISU was ahead after a quarter so it all got out of hand really fast.
1987 against Oklahoma was 56-3. 608 total yards to 73 total yards. OU QB Jamelle Holieway came out after halftime wearing a floor length fur coat and was eating a hot dog on the sideline.
 
Is it OK to continue referring to you as the University of Deseret (whatever that is)?

Are there really tarantulas on campus?

What's up with funeral potatoes and green jello with carrots?

Sure, the University of Utah has a large genome mapping project but has it ever had G-Nomes on top of any of their buildings?

Are you proud that the Dutch Oven is the official state cooking pot of Utah? The rest of us generally use a different definition of the Dutch oven.

Since there is a law against hunting elephants in Utah, how many people do you know that have been trampled by elephants?

TIL Utah is the largest manufacturer of rubber chickens in the US. How many rubber chickens do you buy a year?

Which of the other 4 corner states do you hate the most?

Roseanne Barr has lived in both Iowa and Utah. Are you more proud of her than we are?

Can you introduce me to Juliann Hough and her thighs?

Utah is the youngest state in the country. Why are you pro euthanization?

How many of the 40,000 polygamists in Utah do you personally know?
Is it OK to continue referring to you as the University of Deseret (whatever that is)? Absolutely. You can also refer to us as "BYU's Daddy" or "School of the "Profits"",

Are there really tarantulas on campus? I've never seen one, but there may be some found at our St George, UT campus

What's up with funeral potatoes and green jello with carrots? Funeral potatoes are creamy goodness, jello with carrots?... not so much.

Sure, the University of Utah has a large genome mapping project but has it ever had G-Nomes on top of any of their buildings? I have security looking into this.

Are you proud that the Dutch Oven is the official state cooking pot of Utah? The rest of us generally use a different definition of the Dutch oven. Do tell!! (I just got a new Dutch oven from the FIL)

Since there is a law against hunting elephants in Utah, how many people do you know that have been trampled by elephants? I haven't known any. The last two elephants in Utah are being transferred to a sister zoo. Probably a good thing

TIL Utah is the largest manufacturer of rubber chickens in the US. How many rubber chickens do you buy a year? I have rubber ducks but no chickens.

Which of the other 4 corner states do you hate the most? Arizona, definitely Arizona... but I don't know why.

Roseanne Barr has lived in both Iowa and Utah. Are you more proud of her than we are? Good gawd man!

Can you introduce me to Juliann Hough and her thighs? My wife had Twitch come and teach a dance class. Miss Juliann tagged along but I wasn't allowed to view her thighs.

Utah is the youngest state in the country. Why are you pro euthanization? I believe you're thinking of Oregon?

How many of the 40,000 polygamists in Utah do you personally know? I have met MANY and personally worked with 2. There is a polygamist family building a MASSIVE home 3 doors away from me, so I might meet a few more (they really like to keep to themselves)
 
Generally, these are pretty good answers and the Roseanne Barr answer was spot-on.

If you don't know, you may not want to know the alternate definition of Dutch Oven but here it is if you want to see.

Dutch Oven - Farting under the blanket then lifting it up trapping your significant other under the covers. A Dutch Oven from your FIL would be super creepy.
 
Generally, these are pretty good answers and the Roseanne Barr answer was spot-on.

If you don't know, you may not want to know the alternate definition of Dutch Oven but here it is if you want to see.

Dutch Oven - Farting under the blanket then lifting it up trapping your significant other under the covers. A Dutch Oven from your FIL would be super creepy.
OMG! I'll have to tell my FIL this one! :D
 
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Is it OK to continue referring to you as the University of Deseret (whatever that is)? Deseret means Honey Bee in the Book of Mormon, and is what Brigham Young wanted to call the state. So by calling it the University of Utah you could say it's the University of Deseret and give homage to the state's Mormon heritage, which Utah fans are undoubtedly very proud of.

Are there really tarantulas on campus? Yes there are. I've caught two myself not far from campus in the Salt Lake Valley and seen several others.

What's up with funeral potatoes and green jello with carrots? I'm from Iowa so can punt this one.

Sure, the University of Utah has a large genome mapping project but has it ever had G-Nomes on top of any of their buildings? No but the U of U does have a new https://www.utahstyldeanddesign.com/photo-friday-helix-tower-opens-at-the-u-of-u/ Kind of sounds like a rivalry in the making.
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Are you proud that the Dutch Oven is the official state cooking pot of Utah? The rest of us generally use a different definition of the Dutch oven. I had to look this one up: "A Dutch oven is when one farts in bed and covers the heads of all those in the bed with a blanket. It is supposed to be a joke, albeit, crude and unsavoury." (Emphasis mine)

Since there is a law against hunting elephants in Utah, how many people do you know that have been trampled by elephants? None, but we do have mountain lions, including this encounter near Provo: . Point to the BYU Cougars on this one.

TIL Utah is the largest manufacturer of rubber chickens in the US. How many rubber chickens do you buy a year? It looks like those are made by Loftus International. I know a Ken Loftus. I'm intrigued. This might spark me to re-connect with him after many years.

Which of the other 4 corner states do you hate the most? Probably Wyoming. I know it's not a four corner state, but have you ever been to Rock Springs in particular? Not a nice place (apologies in advance if you are from there).

Roseanne Barr has lived in both Iowa and Utah. Are you more proud of her than we are?

Can you introduce me to Juliann Hough and her thighs? I believe she is from Draper, which is probably equidistant from the BYU and U of U campuses. I realize that does nothing to satisfy your request.

Utah is the youngest state in the country. Why are you pro euthanization? I think there is some confusion here. Since there are a lot of missionaries from Utah, many people are pro "youth in Asia" in their zeal for new converts.

How many of the 40,000 polygamists in Utah do you personally know? One. I volunteered with him on a committee in my town and had no idea he was a polygamist until he ran for mayor and it came out in the media. He didn't win, and I didn't see one of those photo ops where the candidate and his wife cast their ballots, but that would have been more interesting than usual. I also think my former father-in-law secretly wished he could practice polygamy.


I wanted to play as well.
 
Also very good answers. The mountain lion video is intimidating as heck.

In theory, polygamy sounds great to a man (I am joking), but then you quickly come to realize that means twice as many throw pillows and twice as much backseat driving.
I never thought about the throw pillow issue. Truly horrifying.

Also I realized I never answered the Rosanne Barr question. Given that Tom Arnold is from Iowa, I feel like the balance firmly shifts to Iowa and she should be considered more a kindred spirit to certain Iowans. I won’t elaborate further on which ones.
 
@uteman1011

Some of us Cyclone fans like to b*tch about our generic/horrific logos and inconsistent color schemes. From tertiary blue blender bird to our beveled block I-STATE. Which got me to thinking about your drum and feather. Don't you dare drop it. It's a great logo and much better than this generic crap:

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"Utah Utes" is simply a tribal name along the lines of Seminoles or Illini and not nearly as provocative as "Redskins." Side note: some natives would like to see that franchise restored to its original namesake anyways:


Some would cite "cultural appropriation" or disrespect. Modern society acknowledges the unfair treatment of Native Americans in our history. At the same time, many of us would like to see their legacies and traditions survive. Having a sports team named after your tribe should be considered an honor. My two cents.
 
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I have found a true bone of contention about Utah.

The town of Beaver (you all can make your own jokes based upon this), Utah makes this claim:
800px-Beaver_utah_welcome_sign.jpg


I don't think this place knows exactly how much Ames prides itself on its water.

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The true purest water in the world is from Armenia. If you ask any Armenian they will tell you that.

There has never been a civilization so proud of its water: https://araratour.com/water-in-armenia

Perhaps Ames and Beaver should just cede the point to the entire nation of Armenia. Or make it a point of international contention.
 
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The true purist water in the world is from Armenia. If you ask any Armenian they will tell you that.

There has never been a civilization so proud of its water: https://araratour.com/water-in-armenia

Perhaps Ames and Beaver should just cede the point to the entire nation of Armenia. Or make it a point of international contention.
I'm all for the international contention to defend the honor of our water. And if any of the other nations in the Caucuses want to get involved, I'll defend our honor against them too.
 
There’s pretty much zero tailgating scene in Provo. So “bring a sandwich “ to do your own
Oh, this had me wondering if Mormons also weren't allowed to have seasoning or something.
 
1987 against Oklahoma was 56-3. 608 total yards to 73 total yards. OU QB Jamelle Holieway came out after halftime wearing a floor length fur coat and was eating a hot dog on the sideline.
He was right in front of me. I couldn't believe it. He was having friendly conversations with our cheerleaders also.
 
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Seems like he made a bad choice settling near the shores of the Great Salt Lake.
This answer was clever AF.

And not to get too deep into Mormon history, but Joseph Smith died from jumping out of his 2nd floor jail cell to escape a mob that was trying to kill him in Nauvoo, Illinois. He never made it to the Utah.
 
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