Bourdain Thread, And Mental Illness

[Minnyclone]

Hi...I’ve been a follower of this site for years, clearly not much of a poster or commenter. I read this site daily because like all of you, I’m a lover of all things Cyclone. One of my favorite forums in the off-season is Off Topic. I like the funny threads, lawn care, automotive, pretty much anything. 9 times out of 10 I’m proud of the humor, intellect and pragmatism of the regular posters on this site.
But...I read a thread today about the loss of Anthony Bourdain and recently the loss of Kate Spade. Both by suicide. I know it’s a sensitive topic and I try to respect multiple perspectives. The majority of comments in that thread were touching and sensitive. But there were some that really made me question if this is the right community for me to continue to follow (although I don’t say much).
The overall trend in declining mental health in this country is one of, if not the top biggest challenge we face. The pessimist in me feels powerless against the forces preventing positive mental health, the optimist hopes the trends are because we are better and more accepting as a society in recognizing the root of issues.
I know this is already TL;DR territory so let me get to my point. I have personal, deep personal experience with mental health issues and suicide. I hope that those on this site who will joke or have callous opinions about suicide will put themselves in others shoes. Is someone with terminal cancer who makes a choice to stop debilitating chemo treatments a “coward”? Or “Irrational”? Or “Delusional”?
All I ask is this community, one made up of amazing individuals that I have admired and followed for a long time, step up and do what clones do...be a force for positive change.

 

[Cyclonepride]

I feel like the CF community, at least, is a step ahead of the curve on this one, thanks to Royce White and his very public battle with anxiety and his advocacy for mental health.

We've had a few good threads on the issue, with people openly sharing their personal experiences with it. That's a good start.

 

[SoapyCy]

I have extreme anxiety. Growing up my family didn't really "believe" in that stuff. But through some of my struggles they changed their attitudes.

It wasn't that they didn't care, they just had no frame of reference on how to care or what to do.

I didn't read the thread or comments you're speaking of, but please understand people have opinions about things they don't know all the time on many subjects and it's only through sharing stories that we learn the realities of life. Leaving, or not sharing your story, only reduces a opportunity for those people to understand.

 

[dmclone]

I agree that some of the posts have been insensitive but here are my thoughts:

• On message boards in general you have thousands of users. Some have dealt with mental illness and some have not. This doesn't mean that anyone is right or wrong. With that said, most of us have had to deal with mental illness issues with our families or ourselves in one form or another.

• I assume mental illness is different for everyone. How they handle it is also different for everyone. I was reading today that Bourdain's own mother said that he is the last person she thought would kill himself. Other friends have said that as of last week he seemed to be at the happiest he's ever been.

• If you take things personal, it's probably best to stay off these types of topics. You can also block users.

 

[SpokaneCY]

I have extreme anxiety. Growing up my family didn't really "believe" in that stuff. But through some of my struggles they changed their attitudes.

It wasn't that they didn't care, they just had no frame of reference on how to care or what to do.

I didn't read the thread or comments you're speaking of, but please understand people have opinions about things they don't know all the time on many subjects and it's only through sharing stories that we learn the realities of life. Leaving, or not sharing your story, only reduces a opportunity for those people to understand.

Nobody on this board is as callous as they seem (at least I hope so). Most of us have first-hand experiences with all varieties of tragedy and for some - I'm a good example - a glib comment or a dark joke is how we're wired and how we try to understand the world.

I have never and will never get emotional over someone's death that I never knew. Couldn't care less about actors or musicians or celebrities and whatever they go through. But I have endless compassion for those who have lost people that post on this board.

A celebrity never got me through or over anything but friends and random cyclone fanatic posters have always been there to provide a sounding board, a compassionate thought or a well-timed joke to provide perspective. We have some jerks too, but they are OUR jerks.

 

[tyler24]

Ive had this conversation with many people. How come there aren't mental health support groups like there are for substance abuse? I would love to just see an anxiety group pop up so people can get together and support each other.

 

[Sousaclone]

Ive had this conversation with many people. How come there aren't mental health support groups like there are for substance abuse? I would love to just see an anxiety group pop up so people can get together and support each other.

I think part of it is because mental health is "invisible" for the most part. If someone is a raging alcoholic or is addicted to cocaine or heroin there are lots of 'visible' affects that you can't hide or just play down compared to mental health issues. If I'm drinking whiskey at 9 am and plastered, its pretty obvious. If I'm battling depression I can still put on a 'normal' face and just be regarded as quiet or he's always like that.

The other issue is the social pressure. An addiction it's some other 'thing' that's causing the problem. Yes, it's you body craving that next high, but it's the drug that's driving that crave. Mental health on the other hand is purely on one's self. If you've got low self confidence, are battling depression or anxiety, the last thing you want to do is put yourself out and make yourself more vulnerable. If you've got major social anxiety and the only way to get help is to be in a group of people (the very thing that causes you issues), well you're kind of screwed aren't you?


As for the OP, the internet is a callous place, especially when it comes to celebrities. I think if the Bourdain thread was about someone who wasn't a 'celebrity' (Bourdain was famous and a celebrity but he worked to get there), there wouldn't be the same level of comments. That said, some people handle situations with dark humor and aren't aware of other people's situations.

 

[tyler24]

I think part of it is because mental health is "invisible" for the most part. If someone is a raging alcoholic or is addicted to cocaine or heroin there are lots of 'visible' affects that you can't hide or just play down compared to mental health issues. If I'm drinking whiskey at 9 am and plastered, its pretty obvious. If I'm battling depression I can still put on a 'normal' face and just be regarded as quiet or he's always like that.

The other issue is the social pressure. An addiction it's some other 'thing' that's causing the problem. Yes, it's you body craving that next high, but it's the drug that's driving that crave. Mental health on the other hand is purely on one's self. If you've got low self confidence, are battling depression or anxiety, the last thing you want to do is put yourself out and make yourself more vulnerable. If you've got major social anxiety and the only way to get help is to be in a group of people (the very thing that causes you issues), well you're kind of screwed aren't you?


As for the OP, the internet is a callous place, especially when it comes to celebrities. I think if the Bourdain thread was about someone who wasn't a 'celebrity' (Bourdain was famous and a celebrity but he worked to get there), there wouldn't be the same level of comments. That said, some people handle situations with dark humor and aren't aware of other people's situations.

Yes, but mental health and substance abuse go hand in hand. Heck that's why most facilities are co-occuring anymore. I've learned most substance abuse issues are coping with a mental health disorder. I don't think it would hurt to try to open it up and have meetings for anxiety, depression, etc. People hate feeling alone.