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Best Man Speech

I say this as a woman - usually the maid-of-honor speeches are TURRIBLE and sappy (someone's usually crying), and so the best man speech honestly doesn't have a lot to which it needs to aspire. You'll do great, but just know that if you can keep from sobbing, you're probably already in the lead.

I've done a large amount of public speaking over the years. Janny and I did a joint wedding toast at a huge wedding once for which we had not planned on doing anything until five minutes before the speech when we were asked, yet we had people asking us how long it had taken us to write it (that's totally not to brag, it's just to say that you CAN do it extemporaneous and be fine). If you're comfortable with public speaking, you can be more off-the-cuff. Have a general overview in your head of a couple of good stories, and work those into a theme. If you're not a public speaker, maybe have it broken down a little more formally in your mind, or even have a notecard that you leave ON THE TABLE (rather than in front of your face) with some main bullet points.

The best wedding toasts, IMO, involve a funny story about the person you specifically are honoring, or the couple together, and how that story is representative of why the marriage will work. My example above w/Janny and I involved that, which is why it worked. At our wedding, one of J's brothers got up and told a story about one of the brothers stealing something of Janny's, and him riding a bike for a long, long time just go get it back and beat up his brother (or similar). He summed that up by saying Janny was willing to go any distance once he has committed to something, etc. It was adorable and funny, and it had something for people of all ages and genders.
 
My tips: If you are comfortable speaking, have your basic thoughts and get through it in 2-3 minutes and be natural (no notes/script). If you are not comfortable, DO NOT attempt to wing it. I've seen too many dudes do the "you know....well...geesh.....um....um.." I think it can be a good time to show some of the grooms personality to the bride's family in a tasteful way (and as others have said, be sure to pay compliments to the bride).

While we are on weddings....can we all agree to stop with the choreographed first dances? In my opinion, they just scream "look at me" and while 'fun' they usually drag on.
 
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I gave a best man speech at my buddies wedding and compared being married to being an Iowa State fan:

1) Just like being married, it's good as an Iowa State fan to keep expectations low. As long as the wife doesn't expect much, you can usually keep her happy. It's as soon as you set her expectations high that you have set her up for a let-down.

2) Your marital sex life looks alot like your typical Iowa State football season. You may get to play once a week, with the occasional bye week. It always helps to get drunk before hand. And like most Iowa State football games, the game is over before it really even started.

3) Like being an Iowa State fan, marriage is full of highs and lows...yada yada, sentimental stuff, good to end on after the whole sex-life piece.
 
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Angie said:
I say this as a woman - usually the maid-of-honor speeches are TURRIBLE and sappy (someone's usually crying), and so the best man speech honestly doesn't have a lot to which it needs to aspire. You'll do great, but just know that if you can keep from sobbing, you're probably already in the lead.

I've done a large amount of public speaking over the years. Janny and I did a joint wedding toast at a huge wedding once for which we had not planned on doing until five minutes before the speech when we were asked, yet we had people asking us how long it had taken us to write it (that's totally not to brag, it's just to say that you CAN do it extemporaneous and be fine). If you're comfortable with public speaking, you can be more off-the-cuff. Have a general overview in your head of a couple of good stories, and work those into a theme. If you're not a public speaker, maybe have it broken down a little more formally in your mind, or even have a notecard that you leave ON THE TABLE (rather than in front of your face) with some main bullet points.

The best wedding toasts, IMO, involve a funny story about the person you specifically are honoring, or the couple together, and how that story is representative of why the marriage will work. My example above w/Janny and I involved that, which is why it worked. At our wedding, one of J's brothers got up and told a story about one of the brothers stealing something of Janny's, and him riding a bike for a long, long time just go get it back and beat up his brother (or similar). He summed that up by saying Janny was willing to go any distance once he has committed to something, etc. It was adorable and funny, and it had something for people of all ages and genders.
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I think most people expect the best-man speech to be such a drunken-**** show that if you can string together a few thoughts and avoid offending members of the bride's family you will be well received. I attending a wedding for a couple who is now divorced and to this day I'm convinced that the best man's speech was the beginning of their demise.
 
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Clonefan32 said:
I think most people expect the best-man speech to be such a drunken-**** show that if you can string together a few thoughts and avoid offending members of the bride's family you will be well received. I attending a wedding for a couple who is now divorced and to this day I'm convinced that the best man's speech was the beginning of their demise.
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I think this is pretty fair. That would definitely be another reason to maybe bring a notecard with some bullet points, if you plan on getting your drank on before the reception.
 
Tell the bride you know he will love and honor her because he did that for you. Let the awkward begin
 
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As many have said, the maid of honor speeches usually end up as a sob fest and the best man speech is usually seen as the comic relief.

Knowing your audience is key. Chances are you are going to have kids, some uptight old people, and a priest or pastor in the audience. Lead with some funny story about the groom and tell how that translates to him being a devoted spouse. If you know the bride, you can do the same.

3-4 minutes tops. Then raise your glass and get back to hitting on the bridesmaids.
 
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Overall good advice given so far... here are my bullet points:

Keep it short.

Funny is good, but if you're considering including anything derogatory/embarrassing make sure you tread lightly (and really consider whether it's worth including at all).

Have something figured out as a toast line / raise your glass at the end. Don't get so caught up in telling stories that you forget to have an actual toast.

Especially if you are including some funny bits, end on a complimentary note. No matter what you personally think of the situation, wish them well.

If you're not a public speaker, I would suggest writing out your speech word-for-word as a preparatory exercise to put your thoughts together, however don't directly read your toast at the reception. Print bullet points out on a sheet of paper (big enough you can read from a few feet away) and lay it on the table. Note cards can be OK--again better if written big enough that you can lay them on the table. Don't read the toast off your damn phone.

Know where the mic is going after you're done. If you give hugs following your toast, pass the mic off to the next person or set it on the table first.

Here's a brief guide we put together a few years ago: http://www.stevesmobilemusic.com/more/blog/toasting-tips
 
DurangoCy said:
One nice story, one joke and one reason why you know they'll be a good married couple. Cheers and done. 2-3 minutes tops, no one came to hear you talk.

Maid of honor speeches are always a train wreck and some of the most awkward things I've ever witnessed. If you go to bars before the reception, buy her a couple shots and enjoy the show.
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this is what the Best Man did at ours. Talked about DH trying to throw me in a snow bank shortly before we started dating and how he knew then that DH must really like me. So a cute story about how they met or funny (PG!) story that happened during the relationship is always good.

Probably don't go with "she had a great rack so I knew she'd be the one for [groom]"
 
and since you've been friends forever, I'd include a story about trouble you got into as kids or something. I love hearing stories like that.


My MOH actually had a really good speech but it helps that she's a sarcastic person and had a really good story about how we promised she'd be my MOH if I married DH...........before I was even dating DH. I've seen some rambly speeches. Always makes me inwardly groan when I see someone stand up with three sheets of 8.5x11 and you can see they didn't type in 32 font.
 
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Keep calling the groom a woman's name and apologize and say you still struggle calling her Steve or whatever.
 
cowgirl836 said:
and since you've been friends forever, I'd include a story about trouble you got into as kids or something. I love hearing stories like that.


My MOH actually had a really good speech but it helps that she's a sarcastic person and had a really good story about how we promised she'd be my MOH if I married DH...........before I was even dating DH. I've seen some rambly speeches. Always makes me inwardly groan when I see someone stand up with three sheets of 8.5x11 and you can see they didn't type in 32 font.
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I got lucky, too, and have all sarcastic friends. So ours were far better than you normally expect from MOH/bridesmaids, too.
 
coolerifyoudid said:
As many have said, the maid of honor speeches usually end up as a sob fest and the best man speech is usually seen as the comic relief.

Knowing your audience is key. Chances are you are going to have kids, some uptight old people, and a priest or pastor in the audience. Lead with some funny story about the groom and tell how that translates to him being a devoted spouse. If you know the bride, you can do the same.

3-4 minutes tops. Then raise your glass and get back to hitting on the bridesmaids.
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That is the key...I've been to weddings that are really informal/jovial and others that were way stuffy...need to know what you are getting into....and need to make sure you are not inadvertently setting your buddy (groom) up for a bad start to the extended family relationship. HOPEFULLY the groom knows the family and would give you some tips on the audience.
 
What NOT to do:

Intro: Story about trip to The Lumberyard.
Opening Joke: Tell him how you know she will make him happy because one night a few months ago she made you happy.
Emotional story: tell everyone about the time he was there for you to take you to get tested for HIV and how supportive he was (but don't tell them the results of the test). Let everyone know that him and Magic Johnson were your biggest inspirations at the time.
Closing Joke: Mention that if the baby she is carrying right now happens to be yours, you're not available on weekends when the Cyclones play.
Sit down quietly as to not disturb the silence in the room.
 
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cowgirl836 said:
this is what the Best Man did at ours. Talked about DH trying to throw me in a snow bank shortly before we started dating and how he knew then that DH must really like me. So a cute story about how they met or funny (PG!) story that happened during the relationship is always good.

Probably don't go with "she had a great rack so I knew she'd be the one for [groom]"
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I love how you left a little bit of an opening here
 
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Keep it VERY short. No one gives two sh*ts about the best man or that speech.

Drink plenty if booze as a bracer. Keeps you loose and confident.

Above all else do better than the bridesmaid. Has there ever been a good bridesmaid speech?? Flipping always suck with crying, nervous laughter, and dumb stories
 
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CloneinWDSM said:
My best buddy since I was born is getting married this weekend and I need to come up with a Best Man Speech.

I have a few ideas written down of stories/anecdotes but wasn't seeing if anybody had any tips, good one liners, etc.

Keeping the speech short is the plan.. Thanks!
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Well since it's YOU, we know you've obviously done your "research" on the couple. You probably know more about them than they do about each other.

Since you've known this guy for forever I would personally tell a story from when you were kids. Talk about the little kid you knew and the man he is now. That you're happy that your best friend for life found a partner for life. Yadda yadda, if he needs help on the wedding night, let you know.
 
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