Bathroom Trip

Is under not over the new hint to tell dad to get out of the stone ages and install a bidet? It's a game changer on the brown throne.
 
Is under not over the new hint to tell dad to get out of the stone ages and install a bidet? It's a game changer on the brown throne.
I’ve never looked into those, how does it not splash? And what about those times when you’re wiping and the moving around breaks one free, seems like collateral damage.
 
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Happy Sicko De Mayo! Been a long night in our household. The boiling caldron of my wife’s stomach after eating brussel sprouts and Greek yogurt last night reared its ugly head head. I walked into the bathroom and the horrific odor of gastrointestinal combustion was enough to peel paint off the wall.

This mind you was around midnight. She had decided to sleep in our other bedroom for the sake of not waking me and the neighbors either the sounds of the churning lava and the expulsion of gas from burping.

I asked if there was anything I could do and was told to go to bed and leave her in her own living hell.

About and hour later, the sea parted and the utteral groans of heaving commenced. I clinged to my pillow hoping not to hear the call for help. If called upon, I probably would have bowed down to the sink next to her and joined in the chorus of ganging. Thankfully she did not ask for assistance! She is resting comfortably now but has requested me to go get some sort of holistic medicinal healing drink of which she heard from all the women social media Google doctors.

That’s been my trip to the bathroom I don’t want to experience again!
 
I went into our kid's bathroom today and the toilet paper roll was under, not over. Who do I call? What can I do to remedy this savage act of disrespect? I'm literally sitting here shaking, I can't use that wretched under roll.
 
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Just don't turn it on full throttle and there won't be splash. Only wiping needed is a quick dry after. No collateral damage in my several years of use.

This bad boy takes 5 minutes to install

Ok, just got this installed.

1st - I forgot how hard it is to do tight plumbing with arthritis, being fat, and getting old.

2nd - Nobody said to make sure the Bidet wasn't out of the package set to "full MFer car wash mode" when turning the water back on. Got me in the face and soaked the wall across the room.

3rd - I'm highly disappointed there are no flashy lights or colored soaps like in a car wash.
 
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Questions regarding the bidets: how does the cold water feel? I wouldn't think I would care for that, and it would be a pain to get everything attached to a hot water hookup.

Also, anyone who hangs toilet paper under is a communist, a terrorist, and possibly even French.
 
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Questions regarding the bidets: how does the cold water feel? I wouldn't think I would care for that, and it would be a pain to get everything attached to a hot water hookup.

Also, anyone who hangs toilet paper under is a communist, a terrorist, and possibly even French.
As a recent bidet virgin, I can say it was both surprising how cold it can be and how much your position affects where the pressure hits. TMI, but if you sit just right (or wrong in my opinion/case), it's a cold shock to the sphincter. It didn't help that I had the stupid idea to crank it to 11 the first try (after the wall washing event).
 
There was 100% a sit or stand thread. It was around the same time as the epic "what do you like on your wiener" thread.

sit or stand? Are we talking about taking a leak? Other than women, who the heck sits down to take a leak?
 
Tip: Double check that you're actually texting your wife instead of your coworker when explaining your first experience using a bidet.
 
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Questions regarding the bidets: how does the cold water feel? I wouldn't think I would care for that, and it would be a pain to get everything attached to a hot water hookup.

Also, anyone who hangs toilet paper under is a communist, a terrorist, and possibly even French.
Feels better than endlessly wiping peanut butter poops with the best TP you can buy.
 
Ok, just got this installed.

1st - I forgot how hard it is to do tight plumbing with arthritis, being fat, and getting old.

2nd - Nobody said to make sure the Bidet wasn't out of the package set to "full MFer car wash mode" when turning the water back on. Got me in the face and soaked the wall across the room.

3rd - I'm highly disappointed there are no flashy lights or colored soaps like in a car wash.
As to point 3, I hope you’re comparing to the car wash touchless/ touchfree option.
 
Questions regarding the bidets: how does the cold water feel? I wouldn't think I would care for that, and it would be a pain to get everything attached to a hot water hookup.

Also, anyone who hangs toilet paper under is a communist, a terrorist, and possibly even French.
I hardly notice how cold the water is unless I let it run for awhile. As far as hooking to hot water, unless you are right next to the water heater or have an instant hot water system, It's not going to matter much as it won't run long enough to push the water through the pipes. Not to mention I would rather have cold water than a 1st degree burn on my bum hole as the water in a hot water heater is quite toasty. They do make some that have both cold and hot water hookups but for that to work you need to be right next to a sink, and you still have the issue of the colder water that is in the pipes.

I don't understand why it matters how the tp hangs. In fact anyone who actually changes the roll is the monster. If you don't have an empty tube on the roll and a half empty roll next to the bowl or precariously placed on the empty tube, you're doing it wrong.
 
I went into our kid's bathroom today and the toilet paper roll was under, not over. Who do I call? What can I do to remedy this savage act of disrespect? I'm literally sitting here shaking, I can't use that wretched under roll.
Expert toilet essentials presentation etiquette does require clockwise (top of the roll) dispensing.

However, janitorial guidebooks recommend underhanded delivery as it confounds users and lessens toilet paper usage. ie. saves money.
 

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