He told the neighbor kid that Joe Biden was going to go to Donald Trump's house and beat him up.
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- Thread starter SoapyCy
- Start date
He told the neighbor kid that Joe Biden was going to go to Donald Trump's house and beat him up.
It's a learning opportunity. I completely understand where you're coming from. As your family grows, they're going to experience such things more and more.
The lesson for your family is "there's an appropriate time and place" for such language. In middle school, they're learning a lot, in addition to the bodily and hormonal changes. It's a testing ground for them to see where boundaries lie. As a parent, you have the right to apply your own rules in your house. This goes for friends and family and anyone else visiting. A simple "That language is not appropriate in this house" quickly does the trick.
Related story: when my now sophomore was in 7th grade, his social circle started expanding and he began playing a lot of online games with his friends. One afternoon, I hear, at full volume, "it's a f-n joke, Will!" I poked my head in his room and reminded him that type of language isn't appropriate here. Followed up with there's a time and place for everything, and we all slip up occasionally.
The lesson for your family is "there's an appropriate time and place" for such language. In middle school, they're learning a lot, in addition to the bodily and hormonal changes. It's a testing ground for them to see where boundaries lie. As a parent, you have the right to apply your own rules in your house. This goes for friends and family and anyone else visiting. A simple "That language is not appropriate in this house" quickly does the trick.
Related story: when my now sophomore was in 7th grade, his social circle started expanding and he began playing a lot of online games with his friends. One afternoon, I hear, at full volume, "it's a f-n joke, Will!" I poked my head in his room and reminded him that type of language isn't appropriate here. Followed up with there's a time and place for everything, and we all slip up occasionally.
For me growing up I was told it was OK to swear if it was with your friends in private, but my dad always warned me about using those words elsewhere. He pressed it home and relayed really cringy stories where he slipped up and was embarrassed in his adult life. Hit home for me then.
We don't swear in my house, and don't allow my boys to swear either. It's just a culture choice for our family. No person NEEDS to talk this way in my opinion. However I know that they hear it from others...at school, online, in video games, etc. That's fine, they know they are not allowed to talk like this. If they are watching a particular YouTube video and the person swears, we just tell them 'no more videos from that person' and we move on.
I play online video games sometimes, and once in awhile you will get into a match with an obvious child playing who cusses like a sailor. What purpose does that serve? I don't know if they think it makes them feel like an adult, but honestly it makes me sad for the child.
To each their own. Some people don't give a rip about language, as evidenced in this thread. That's their business. Your kids will have to live in the world and deal with people having different values than theirs. It's best to help them deal with it gracefully rather than avoid it altogether, especially if it's your family. However I don't blame you for preferring to lower the level of interaction with your sibling...however I would never presume to tell him unless you have THAT level of a relationship with him, which from your post, I doubt is the case.
Sounds like the dumbest ******* **** I've ever heard.
Tell your sibling they can allow their kids to do what they want but you'd appreciate if their kids knew to limit that behavior when your kids are around. They're your kids and they should be able to respect your wishes. I'd also add, don't try too hard to shelter your kids from bad language/behavior. You can shelter them from it when they're with you but the second you aren't there, they'll be exposed to it and won't know how to react/behave. Let them be exposed to "bad" language but use it as a chance to teach them that there is a time and place for it. It's better to be exposed and taught the meanings and understand why some words may be inappropriate or hurtful than it is to grow up never hearing them. By this I don't mean to tell them it's completely acceptable and they're allowed to swear whenever, but I do mean exposure and education is important. From my experience, things that are made taboo as a kid become obsessions as adults.
P.S. this comes from someone who has never had a kid so take it with a grain of salt.
CycloneErik
Well-Known Member
One of the funniest things I ever saw was one time I was watching my two younger cousins. The girl comes up to me and says her brother called her the "h" word, then he yells back everyone knows it starts with a "w".
I'll never forget the 6 year old neighbor kid coming over, getting upset about something, and breaking into a tirade of "DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!!!!!" We all knew where he learned it. He even had his mom's cadence!
Been through this also. I feel it’s a respect thing so just tell your kids they don’t have to talk like them. Mine are 12 and 8 so I’m sure they have said the same words as well but haven’t around me.
How old are your kids? Tell your your nephews to shut the eff up around your kids if they are too young. If your bros or sisters don't like it, leave. Eff them too. If it's that important to you that your kids aren't around that, then keep them away from it. Ourdaughter is almost 9 yo. She can only sing cuss words and we let her know it is inappropriate in any other form, even though we use them a lot.
My bother and the neighbor kid got into the a stash of playboys when they were 5 or 6. They decided to take the stack out to the street and show every car that drove by the centerfolds.
2 options:
1. mind your own business
or
2. Straight up tell them how to raise their kids. And hopefully they tell you where is stick it and it you don't like keep your sheltered kids in your sheltered house.
Think I agree with some who have advocated that it's time to regulate youtube / facebook / and twitter like utilities. Because they essentially are and have many negatives.