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New (and some old) Chuck Norris Facts!

C

cyinthesky

Member
Dec 12, 2006
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I need some new ones for a contest at work, all "CN facts" will be appreciated, Please add to the thread... Thanx!

Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes together.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.
 
 
chuck norris tears can cure cancer. too bad he's never cried.

when chuck norris does pushups he doesn't push himself up he pushes the world down.

when chuch norris has to drop a deuce he looks at a mirror because his own image scares the **** out of even him.

i personally like bill brasky sayings better:

bill brasky hated mexicans. and he was half mexican. and he hated irony.

bill brasky once scissor kicked angela langsbery.

bill brasky wears an anaconda for a condom.
 
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Chuck Norris has such a good poker face, he once won the World Series of Poker with a 2 of spades, a 7 of clubs, a joker, the green 4 from UNO, and a monopoly get of jail card.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
 
Clones21 said:
I hate this Chuck Norris ****. It gets annoying. Chuck Norris is a peice of **** for all i care.
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Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands.... Now they are known as "The Islands"
 
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice, and he can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting because hunting implies failure. He goes killing.
 
Bill Brasky is a son of a *****!

Bill Brasky is the father of every son in this town.

One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!

He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky

He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health.
 
MLawrence said:
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice, and he can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting because hunting implies failure. He goes killing.
Click to expand...

Of all of Chuck's abilities, that one's not so impressive - anybody that's taken Math 165 at ISU knows how to divide by zero...
 
ISU BET said:
Bill Brasky is a son of a *****!

Bill Brasky is the father of every son in this town.

One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!

He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky

He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health.
Click to expand...
LMAO!!!!
(.....Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky') :biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:
 
After becoming firmly entrenched at ISU Gene Chizik fled the state on rumors that Chuck Norris might some day visit Ames.
 
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