Sorry, guys. SB Nation, an authoritative source, has decided the matter. It's on the internet, it must be true.
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2015...t-deathbracket-dragons-tigers-and-bears-oh-my
South Region
Round of 32
Iowa State Cyclones vs. UAB Blazers
AW HELL YEAH.
WEATHERBIRD VS.
FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON. One could argue that the dragon's fire is of no use here, because that'll just turn the force of nature into a fiery force of nature. However, this particular cyclone is being commanded by a muscly cardinal, and that cardinal *is* susceptible to fire and also mystical powers. Dragon wins. It's science.
Don't feel bad. Dragons are big, tough, and ornery. Anyone seen Game of Thrones?
Round of 32
UCLA Bruins vs. UAB Blazers
WOOOOOOO GET BURNT, BEAR.
Round of 16
UAB Blazers vs. NDSU Bison
WOOOOOOO BROILED BISON BURGERS
Elite Eight
Duke Blue Devils vs. UAB Blazers
WOOOOO GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR ELITE MOUNTAIN TRAINING AGAINST A DAMN MYTHICAL FIRE-BREATHING BEAST, CHASSEUR ALPIN.
Final Four
LSU Tigers vs. UAB Blazers
WOOOOOOOO YOU'VE MET YOUR MATCH KITTY
[h=3]THE 2015 NCAA FINAL: HAMPTON PIRATES VS. UAB BLAZERS[/h] AVAST MATEYS, LOOK STARBOARD, YONDER ON THE HORIZON I SPY ONE HULKING WING LIZARD APPROACHING OUR FAIR BARQUE. READY THE SIX-POUNDERS AND FIRE AWAY.
BLIMEY, THE BEAST BELCHES FLAMES AND SUFFERS NOT O'ER OUR WEAPONRY. THE POOP DECK IS ABLAZE. WE'RE GOING DOWN, BUCKOS.
[h=3]CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2015 NCAA CHAMPION UAB BLAZERS[/h]
Hey, it could have been worse. Be glad you're not Providence or Dayton fans:
Providence Friars vs. Dayton Flyers
In an unprecedented event in MASCOT DEATHBRACKET history. The peaceful Dominican brother and the peaceful barnstorming pilot are so tickled by the fact that their titles rhyme that they form a truce and team up to advance to the next round. The friar is impressed with the flyer's aerial skills. The flyer is quite taken with the friar despite his
ghoulish appearance. They zoom around in the plane together. The friar even gets his own gogglehat to wear under his horrifying shawl. The flyer and the friar snuggle sometimes, but just in a friendly way. They make out just once to see what it's like.
Don't get bent, it's most likely the only win we'll get.
