As many of you have gathered over the past month, both my mental and physical state have not been the best (well they've always sucked, they just suck in more impactful ways now). Normally I wouldn't post something like this outside the mod board, but I've had a number of people continue to reach out after the mental health thread and my likelihood of responding is going to be much less for a while...
Two days after
my thread around the will to live, ironically, I had a
stroke and heart attack. Spending a few days in the hospital kept me from being as active on CF, and again reiterated how much it means to me and is a part of my life. Unfortunately, my mental health has only continued to get worse, likely leading up to having a very short leash in a few threads on Sunday.
Early yesterday AM, I was rushed from work to the ER for
another stroke, this time a bit larger (MRI revealed it left a centimeter sized mass, some scar tissue, and other things I don't comprehend in the brain) - but thankfully there was no residual hemorrhaging. Some slurred speech remains, but otherwise doing well. And still, my mental health continues as it has been, at a very dire point.
So with that, I will be making several changes that will impact some of you, and elate most of you...
- I anticipate no longer doing much, if any, texting or communicating with coaches, players, recruits, donors, etc.
- Those that had group PMs with me on these things will no longer get responses.
- Those that looked for me to fill in w/ info during the quiet times in the Premium forum will be disappointed.
- I plan to avoid game threads and other threads with an emotional overtone (thankfully I was unable to watch last night's game I take it).
- I will not be reading or responding to PMs - a place where a lot of hatred comes my way for whatever reason (I probably deserve it).
- Exception being if I can tell from the title it's positive or if it's from somebody that I already know/respect.
- I will likely be more of a lurker than poster for a while.
Unfortunately, CF has never stopped being my #1 passion and pride after family and work so none of this will help the mental health issues in any way. I would guesstimate that I spend 80% of my online time on CF - the rest on 3d printing and tech websites.
Thank you to all that continue to make CF so much to so many. Please be kind to each other, and especially the moderators who give their time to do a thankless job. And please make sure to continue to look after your own mental and physical well being.
