There is lots of advice on the web, but my stress compels me to reach out to real people I feel like I know. CF is awesome for that sometimes. Anyway, heres the gig - We have no time table or specific destination yet but it seems fairly likely we will be moving this year. If for no other reason than the wife is convinced we should. The last time we moved we only had 1/2 a kid (shared custody - but having them gone often makes things like packing easier - plus we weren't responsible for 100% care so less pressure to get it right) and lots less crap. We also only moved 2 hours away. It seems like this time we may be moving more than a days drive away and have at least 5 people to account for. Every single part of this gives me a panic attack: packing, showing and selling the house, moving, finding a place to live, finances, transition if Im already working and the house doesn't sell, wifes current health ssues, etc etc. ANyway, venting it all helps a bit, but maybe someone out there has useful info. Thanks CFers
Moving with kids
- Thread starter drmwevr08
- Start date
Sounds like you're getting yourself all worked up over a lot of hypotheticals. Decide where you want to go, find a house to make an offer on, and go from there. Can't make a road map until you know where the starting point is. Good luck.
This is pretty cliche, but things will work out how they are supposed to. We finally got an offer on our house but couldn't find a house in the area where we need to move for my work. We were down to some pretty sorry options, but then at the last minute, a house came on the market that fit our needs perfectly. Problem is, they can't close until TWO MONTHS after we close on ours. My parents called and told me that we could use their very nice RV if we need to for an interim solution, plus we have a few other options.
Our 4 year old has been a bit moody lately, but not too bad. Our 1 year old will probably hate that he doesn't have a fully finished basement that he can run full speed and fall down without getting hurt in the new house, but he will be happier because I won't be commuting ridiculous amounts and he'll see me every day for lunch. The kids are resilient, they will adjust.
Finances when trying to sell a house are always incredibly difficult. Paying for things that are needed to fix your house, storage, moving, etc.
You will make it through this, remember that your CF family is always here to vent to.
Our 4 year old has been a bit moody lately, but not too bad. Our 1 year old will probably hate that he doesn't have a fully finished basement that he can run full speed and fall down without getting hurt in the new house, but he will be happier because I won't be commuting ridiculous amounts and he'll see me every day for lunch. The kids are resilient, they will adjust.
Finances when trying to sell a house are always incredibly difficult. Paying for things that are needed to fix your house, storage, moving, etc.
You will make it through this, remember that your CF family is always here to vent to.
Theres no doubt that Im more worked up than is healthy, or even normal. Thus the post 
I would say that it will become reality sooner than later. Two interviews in July.
Boys are 7,5,4. In another 10 years Id have a heck of a moving crew... now, yikes (their specialty is demolition)
I would say that it will become reality sooner than later. Two interviews in July.
Boys are 7,5,4. In another 10 years Id have a heck of a moving crew... now, yikes (their specialty is demolition)
Maybe you can start collecting free banana and apple boxes from the grocery stores in the morning. Then you can gradually pack the boxes. You can rent a penske truck, load it with boxes and little stuff, and drive it to a storage shed in your new city. Then have two men and a truck load your big stuff when you go with your family in a penske truck. Have two men a truck people unload in the new city also. Then take your truck and go get the little stuff. Hopefully it can be a door to door move for you. Do you have a dog also? Have Mom go visit her parents with your kids for a week or two while you move the stuff. Bring the truck back and then drive the family down.
I have 4 kids born in four states, not all close. It can be stressful, but if you make it an adventure and take it one day at a time you'll be fine. Get really good advice from locals and those that relocate often. Selling a house can be the most stressful - especially home inspectors.
Phone call and 2hr drive away, man. Granted it will get tougher to do stuff for me in a couple weeks - but the Mrs will be free to help with the family.
Chin up - great opportunities ahead for ya!
Chin up - great opportunities ahead for ya!
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People do it all the time. Sure it is stressful but life will eventually throw much worse than a move at you. I'd relax.
Buy a bunch of big plastic tub containers with lids, enough to fit all your small belongings/clothes inside. Then rent a moving truck with a 2 wheel dolly and you can move stacks of those tubs and all your small stuff will be loaded in minutes. If I was moving long distance though, I'd order a moving box from Pods.
For the 4 year old, try this book:
http://smile.amazon.com/Alexander-W...7&sr=1-1&keywords=alexander+not+going+to+move
our daughter was almost three when we moved, and it helped her a lot.
http://smile.amazon.com/Alexander-W...7&sr=1-1&keywords=alexander+not+going+to+move
our daughter was almost three when we moved, and it helped her a lot.
I have 4 kids born in 3 states from Idaho to NJ. It's not a big deal to move and it can be a fun and energizing experience unless you choose to make it stressful. Like all things in life, it's what you make of it. Take the time to really delve into the new area, look for a while, talk to people in the area, find good schools in a neighborhood on the way up not down.
Kids will adapt very easily ..... as I have always told my kids (and it is 100% true), as long as your kid isn't a total pyscho, the new kid is the one that everyone wants to be friends with. My only rule of thumb is that once a kid enters high school, I try to avoid moving until they are out. My last one is a senior next year, so the door reopens for me at that point.
Kids will adapt very easily ..... as I have always told my kids (and it is 100% true), as long as your kid isn't a total pyscho, the new kid is the one that everyone wants to be friends with. My only rule of thumb is that once a kid enters high school, I try to avoid moving until they are out. My last one is a senior next year, so the door reopens for me at that point.
Don't buy a house until your sells and have the company pay for your apartment until then? That saves a lot of financial stress.
I was going to say the same. See if you can rent first. Gives you the time to let the old house sell, bank the balance, and scope out exactly where you want to be and have plenty of time (no pressure) to find the right place. Yeah, you have to "move" again but just in the same town/city.
Start packing the stuff you don't need ASAP. You'll be surprised how much fits that category and then when it's time to pack the rest you'll be surprised again by how much of that there is.
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Find out what the new companies relocation package includes (if they have one). If it's a day's drive from where you are now I bet they have some kind of policy. When I moved from Ames to western Washington, my relocation package included the employer hiring a company to pack and move all of our stuff, plus providing an apartment for a month and paying for all food (groceries or resteraunts). They also gave me a lump sum payment equal to one month's salary to help get life started. They even payed for all the fees associated with selling my house in Ames (realtors fees, closing costs, etc.) and had an accountant do all the tax paperwork for us. Plus they paid the taxes on all of that since it would have counted as an extra like $30,000 in income for the year.
Wow! That would be fantastic. I work in the public sector and expect some small allowance but nothing approaching that.
We we will definitely start packing some things. That will be a good opportunity to see what we can sell trash or give away too.
Honestly, although every little thing adds up the money issues make it the worst.
I would move sooner than later if you are offered and accept a new position. You have two school aged children who I would personally want to start in a new school vs. their old school. I would do the research on what documentation (medical records, etc.) the new school system needs to get your kids enrolled and as soon as you can. It will make their lives easier to transition if they have not already started school.
haven't done a move with anyone besides myself and no kids........but thought I'd throw in a couple things since you sound pretty stressed! As others have said, if you are positive that you are moving within a certain time span (let's say before winter) definitely start packing up all those things that you won't need until after the move. You already mention cleaning out and donating/trashing things. Get the kids involved! Have them go through their toys to give away so they can help too. If they are not happy about moving, maybe showing them fun things they'll be close to in their new place? A fun waterpark or zoo? They'll take their cue from you and your wife, so if you both seem stressed and upset about the move, that will only reflect in their behavior.
And if it were me, I'd make a list. What are the things you need to do? Seeing it all in a list can be overwhelming but it helps me feel like I have some sense of control and that I'm not going to miss something. It's a big event and you're not going to do everything at once, so stop stressing yourself out! Take it one bite at a time
And if you don't think your house will sell quickly/you won't find something new fast enough, definitely see about a short term lease and keep most of your stuff in storage/boxed up. Then you don't have to worry about the timing quite as much.
Good luck!