Fostering a child

[Scott34]

So I had a really weird experience tonight. My girlfriend and I were heading home from a friends tonight and seen a child running out the front door with the mother chasing after her. The lady signals me to help, so I tell gf to stop immediately. I jump out of the car and stop the girl from running away. I find out that the lady chasing her was the foster parent. The girl is yelling the whole time that she hates living there and doesnt want to go back. I ended up walking her home but am really just torn on what to do. I did call the police and they said they were sending out a couple squad cars to check it out. My question is or opinion is do you guys think I should leave it be? The thing that really has me contemplating is these 2 girls that are missing. I am only looking for serious recommendations as this is honestly a serious situation. Thanks in advance.

 

[KFitzy87]

Do you have any more info on how exactly the girl was saying she "hated" living there? Did it appear she was just throwing a temper tantrum or did she honestly seem like she needed to live somewhere else....

 

[CyBer]

So I had a really weird experience tonight. My girlfriend and I were heading home from a friends tonight and seen a child running out the front door with the mother chasing after her. The lady signals me to help, so I tell gf to stop immediately. I jump out of the car and stop the girl from running away. I find out that the lady chasing her was the foster parent. The girl is yelling the whole time that she hates living there and doesnt want to go back. I ended up walking her home but am really just torn on what to do. I did call the police and they said they were sending out a couple squad cars to check it out. My question is or opinion is do you guys think I should leave it be? The thing that really has me contemplating is these 2 girls that are missing. I am only looking for serious recommendations as this is honestly a serious situation. Thanks in advance.

Probably just a girl angry at her parents, however you did the right thing in calling the cops. I don't think there is much else you would be able to do.

 

[Aclone]

Leave what be? You called the police. What are you imagining is happening? MANY children in foster homes "hate" being there--at least some of the time, simply because it isn't their parents' house. Such protests can also be a manipulative form of behavior. If there is an issue of abuse, the police will take care of it. You did your job.

BTW--I hope this is something that you saw happening, not "seen". I'm serious. I'm tired of rampant bad grammar that comes solely from ignorance.

 

[Cyclonepride]

Yeah, you did about all you could do. Foster parenting a child would have to be tough (but rewarding). Who knows what kind of situation that child came from, and kids can be rough enough on you, even when you're their real parent.

 

[stevefrench]

So I had a really weird experience tonight. My girlfriend and I were heading home from a friends tonight and seen a child running out the front door with the mother chasing after her. The lady signals me to help, so I tell gf to stop immediately. I jump out of the car and stop the girl from running away. I find out that the lady chasing her was the foster parent. The girl is yelling the whole time that she hates living there and doesnt want to go back. I ended up walking her home but am really just torn on what to do. I did call the police and they said they were sending out a couple squad cars to check it out. My question is or opinion is do you guys think I should leave it be? The thing that really has me contemplating is these 2 girls that are missing. I am only looking for serious recommendations as this is honestly a serious situation. Thanks in advance.

have you considered that these people might actually be doing absolutely nothing wrong and this is just a distraught child who's completely emotionally unstable after being taken away from their birth parents?

IMO you are completely out of line if you try to involve yourself. you already called the cops. what more do you honestly think you're gonna do?

 

[Let's Go State]

So I had a really weird experience tonight. My girlfriend and I were heading home from a friends tonight and seen a child running out the front door with the mother chasing after her. The lady signals me to help, so I tell gf to stop immediately. I jump out of the car and stop the girl from running away. I find out that the lady chasing her was the foster parent. The girl is yelling the whole time that she hates living there and doesnt want to go back. I ended up walking her home but am really just torn on what to do. I did call the police and they said they were sending out a couple squad cars to check it out. My question is or opinion is do you guys think I should leave it be? The thing that really has me contemplating is these 2 girls that are missing. I am only looking for serious recommendations as this is honestly a serious situation. Thanks in advance.

Good job. Let dhs or the pd take it from there.

 

[Scott34]

So I had a really weird experience tonight. My girlfriend and I were heading home from a friends tonight and seen a child running out the front door with the mother chasing after her. The lady signals me to help, so I tell gf to stop immediately. I jump out of the car and stop the girl from running away. I find out that the lady chasing her was the foster parent. The girl is yelling the whole time that she hates living there and doesnt want to go back. I ended up walking her home but am really just torn on what to do. I did call the police and they said they were sending out a couple squad cars to check it out. My question is or opinion is do you guys think I should leave it be? The thing that really has me contemplating is these 2 girls that are missing. I am only looking for serious recommendations as this is honestly a serious situation. Thanks in advance.

have you considered that these people might actually be doing absolutely nothing wrong and this is just a distraught child who's completely emotionally unstable after being taken away from their birth parents?IMO you are completely out of line if you try to involve yourself. you already called the cops. what more do you honestly think you're gonna do?

Im not trying to involve myself in there situation but just very hard when put in that position. The only part that had me really uptight ia the fact not knowing what is going on. I just didnt want to be that person to let it go and then read something in the paper a couple days later. I do agree with what most of you have to say by letting it go. Wasnt trying to be out of line, was just really bothered by what I had been apart of at that time.

 

[TedKumsher]

I'm a licensed foster parent. Anything you want to know?

 

[cyco2000]

Thank you for caring. Good to see some people will stop to help. You did everything right in my book.

 

[TedKumsher]

You didn't describe anything that would constitute witnessing abuse. Your account doesn't have the child claiming to be abused (directly). You don't say how you found out they were a foster family (so there's a chance you were lied to). I'm presuming you called the police on the possibility that there was abuse based on the child's behavior (which isn't conclusive but could be suspicious).

Calling the police seems reasonable. Had you witnessed something worse, or if you just had some bad gut feeling, I suppose you could have stayed until the police arrived.

I'm going to bed now. I'll try to remember to check this thread tomorrow sometime.

 

[Scott34]

You didn't describe anything that would constitute witnessing abuse. Your account doesn't have the child claiming to be abused (directly). You don't say how you found out they were a foster family (so there's a chance you were lied to). I'm presuming you called the police on the possibility that there was abuse based on the child's behavior (which isn't conclusive but could be suspicious).Calling the police seems reasonable. Had you witnessed something worse, or if you just had some bad gut feeling, I suppose you could have stayed until the police arrived.I'm going to bed now. I'll try to remember to check this thread tomorrow sometime.

When I caught the girl, the mother said she was the foster parent that. That she.was trying to run away.

 

[Scott34]

I'm a licensed foster parent. Anything you want to know?

I guess im not as concerned since I know the police were heading to the house. Im more concerned about what is going on there. I know it may not be my bussiness but my concern is for the girl. Im not saying the girl got abused but just curious why she would try to run away if something wasnt ok. I do realize that the girl may be very emotional or upset with the whole situation in general. Im not being judgemental towards the parents just never had a situation like this occur to me.

 

[Trainer]

Foster parenting is hard. Kind of like being a police officer. Everyone remembers the **** officer and not the one that let you go with a warning, or the one that looked the other way when you were doing donuts in your home town. If you really want to take this seriously, then go through the arduous process to become a foster parent and help many children. You really cannot do more. Obviously this event has effected you and you want to do something, more power to you.

 

[erikbj]

i would think you did the right thing, the police should check it out and take action if neccessary. From people that i know that have fostered children is that the a lot of the kids come out of really bad situations and are messed up, no matter what environment you put them in, they will act out.

Although i would assume that there are bad foster parents out there and you did the right thing. Not much else you can do, unless you want to become a foster parent yourself.

 

[Scott34]

i would think you did the right thing, the police should check it out and take action if neccessary. From people that i know that have fostered children is that the a lot of the kids come out of really bad situations and are messed up, no matter what environment you put them in, they will act out. Although i would assume that there are bad foster parents out there and you did the right thing. Not much else you can do, unless you want to become a foster parent yourself.

I think thats the fact that I didnt understand last night is that it may not be the parents fault at all. I guess I was just think of the worst when it came to the kid. You guys really did help me grasp this better. I just havent been around a foster home enough to really have an understanding of what is more of the norm. Just hope the best for that child and her foster parents.

 

[TedKumsher]

I guess im not as concerned since I know the police were heading to the house. Im more concerned about what is going on there. I know it may not be my bussiness but my concern is for the girl. Im not saying the girl got abused but just curious why she would try to run away if something wasnt ok. I do realize that the girl may be very emotional or upset with the whole situation in general. Im not being judgemental towards the parents just never had a situation like this occur to me.

I'm not entirely sure how to respond to this. I won't agree with "it's not your business", though I won't exactly say it IS your business either, if that makes sense. Sometimes kids need adults to stand up for them when they can't stand up for themselves. (I'm not saying this was (or was not) one of those times.)

On the other hand, (though perhaps I'm sensitive,) foster homes seem to be practically vilified in popular entertainment (crime dramas and similar). Too many times I've seen foster parents portrayed as spoiling their own children while their foster kids get the Harry Potter treatment.

The truth is -- there isn't really any way I can think of where a child is placed in foster care that isn't -- troubled. It could be their behavior directly that gets them legally removed from their home. More often it's their parents -- whether criminal activity (meth labs) or child abuse/neglect. We had to pick up a child from a policeman once -- at the police station where her mother was just arrested. Once a teenager came to our home that said some -- unpleasant things to the social worker. Most of the time they're just kids who don't want to be in your home for the simple and obvious reasons (it's not their choice to be there) -- unrelated to the treatment they are receiving. Runaway attempts are very common, as are false abuse accusations.

I am glad that you acted and didn't just walk the other way or something.

 

[Angie]

It sounds like you did the right thing. I'm going to guess that their case worker will take an extra-close look at the situation and make sure everything is okay.

The other posters hit the nail on the head, though. You're not ever put in foster care because you've had an easy life, you know? This child likely was neglected or abused (I believe it's usually neglect), but most children still just want their mommy and/or daddy. Being a foster parent is incredibly hard work, with children who have been damaged - it's sad and awful that people can mistreat children, but it's the truth. I hope that nothing bad was happening in your situation, and that the little girl can find a happy place with her new family.

 

[Scott34]

Thanks Ted. Like I said before, I just havent been around them enough to understand that its "common" for a child to be like that. I dont want it to sound like I was trying to intrude on these peoples lives. I just didnt want to be the person that turned my head and acted like nothing happened. I just wanted to see how many people had experiences with these kind of children and couldnt help me understand the situation a little better. Thanks to all that have contributed, has been very helpful.

 

[Jambalaya]

So I had a really weird experience tonight. My girlfriend and I were heading home from a friends tonight and seen a child running out the front door with the mother chasing after her. The lady signals me to help, so I tell gf to stop immediately. I jump out of the car and stop the girl from running away. I find out that the lady chasing her was the foster parent. The girl is yelling the whole time that she hates living there and doesnt want to go back. I ended up walking her home but am really just torn on what to do. I did call the police and they said they were sending out a couple squad cars to check it out. My question is or opinion is do you guys think I should leave it be? The thing that really has me contemplating is these 2 girls that are missing. I am only looking for serious recommendations as this is honestly a serious situation. Thanks in advance.

I know some friends who started fostering a 10 year old girl....I admire their generosity, and they're wonderful people.

Listening to their account of the first couple months of fostering, it was clear this girl was from a low-life white trash family who's biological parents didn't care.

The girl was also fostered prior and PLAYED THE SYSTEM on our friends....which is to play little mind games, guilt trips, and the sympathy card with their fostering parents, in order to get her way

On the other hand, I have run across people that foster 2-3 kids at a time, and do this year round specifically FOR THE GOV'T CHECK $$$. They have no scruples