Friday OT #1 - A Little Self-Care

Angie

Tugboats and arson.
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Thanks so much to @madguy30 for another great thread idea! Here is how he worded it:

Things people should do that have had positive outcomes for them.

So, in essence - what are good habits or activities that are helpful to you living a better life? My husband and I started taking trips without the kids last year, and we remembered that, although our children are our lives, it is also okay to prioritize each other and to relax sometimes. (A trip with kids is rarely going to be relaxing!)

What are your “stay sane” tips?
 
We cook quite a bit on Sunday night so we easily have leftovers on Monday and maybe even into Tuesday. Then on Monday nights we'll do something easy like a frozen pizza. We try and relax more on Monday than Sunday.
 
Taking a trip at least once a year to a place where my cell phone doesn’t work.
Unplugging from the grid has been very beneficial to my mental health.
The other is occasionally engaging in hard physical labor. I do some volunteering where I run chainsaw all day. It’s a break from my normal work and I enjoy that type of effort.
 
I try and do more stretching. Now that I am fully working from home (after being back in the office full time), I am going to take the lessons I learned from COVID and try to apply them now. During COVID, I felt that I had a lot of missed opportunities to do these types of quality of life enhancing things, while others were able to make successful changes.
 
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I'm a big believer that time alone is important, and spending REAL time alone is good.

Not just a night off or whatever, but at some point living alone for a long while, go to concerts, etc. If the person is with someone, still find time to do things on their own...vacation, camping, whatever. Self sufficiency can just be really rewarding.
 
Taking a trip at least once a year to a place where my cell phone doesn’t work.
Unplugging from the grid has been very beneficial to my mental health.
The other is occasionally engaging in hard physical labor. I do some volunteering where I run chainsaw all day. It’s a break from my normal work and I enjoy that type of effort.

I find volunteering in general has become a passion of mine. Making the world a little better puts your head on straight and gives perspective.
 
  • I try to remember to regularly focus on being grateful for what I have. If you truly experience that gratitude for whatever positive things you have in your life, it's really hard to feel sorry for yourself
  • I handle stress by coming up with a plan of action to remedy the situation. Once the plan is in place and you're acting on it, there's really not much else you can do, so there's peace in that
  • For external factors, my stress response is to gather information voraciously. Knowledge is power, and once attained, you cannot be manipulated into more stress than is really warranted.
  • I spread my vacation days out into a bunch of somewhat regularly spaced 3, 4 or 5 day weekends so that I always have something to look forward to
 
Probably something most of us including me don't do enough of and that is volunteer for things. Whether that is coaching your kids team or helping with something at school, doing a habitat for humanity build, volunteering your time or skills for a charity cause or church, etc.

Just occasionally doing something unselfish that benefits someone else more than it does you I feel is a nice change of pace and has a meaningful impact and is something that should be able to take your mind off things even if its just a few hours. We get some volunteer hours at work that I am guilty of rarely using but last month I took a day off to do a habitat wall build and it felt good to do something that got my mind off the grind of work for a day and also do something for a good cause.
 
Martial arts. I am not hardcore, but have been doing it a long time. Core strength, flexibility, balance, coordination. Humble brag, people are still shocked when I tell them I have a 30 year old kid. And it's very gratifying to see the kids we teach gain confidence in themselves, that's good for the soul.

I know people in their 30s and 40s that are always whining about this or that pain or ache, and I feel pretty much like "get off your butt and do something besides b!tch about it".
 
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Probably something most of us including me don't do enough of and that is volunteer for things. Whether that is coaching your kids team or helping with something at school, doing a habitat for humanity build, volunteering your time or skills for a charity cause or church, etc.

Just occasionally doing something unselfish that benefits someone else more than it does you I feel is a nice change of pace and has a meaningful impact and is something that should be able to take your mind off things even if its just a few hours. We get some volunteer hours at work that I am guilty of rarely using but last month I took a day off to do a habitat wall build and it felt good to do something that got my mind off the grind of work for a day and also do something for a good cause.

I get really passionate about helping at the kids’ schools. PTA and school stuff gets this whole Stepford Wives reputation, but it is hugely crucial to the students and teachers… but not a single one has near enough volunteers. They put books in classrooms, fund field trips, give teachers grants for supplies - these are crucial things that don’t just appear out of thin air.
 
I like the suggestion of trips without the kids. My husband and I will definitely be trying to do that as our son gets older. I think it's good to prioritize the marriage because at some point the kids will go off and you'll be left with your spouse. Will you still know/like them?

Quiet reading time is a big thing for me. I don't get it very often but I'm trying to be better about MAKING time for it.
 
Run.

I eat whatever I want, drink beer and bourbon and vodka, smoke two or three cigarettes a day, smoke weed a few times a week...

I'm 6'-3", 206, BP-116/76 (had a doctor visit last week), resting heart rate is 74 BPM.

And I only run two or three times a week and only for three miles. It's miraculous.
 
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Run.

I eat whatever I want, drink beer and bourbon and vodka, smoke two or three cigarettes a day, smoke weed a few times a week...

I'm 6'-3", 206, BP-116/76 (had a doctor visit last week), resting heart rate is 74 BPM.


And I only run two or three times a week and only for three miles. It's miraculous.
You can go f*ck right the hell off.

;jimlad
 
I like the suggestion of trips without the kids. My husband and I will definitely be trying to do that as our son gets older. I think it's good to prioritize the marriage because at some point the kids will go off and you'll be left with your spouse. Will you still know/like them?

Quiet reading time is a big thing for me. I don't get it very often but I'm trying to be better about MAKING time for it.
I read every night before bed. Doesn't matter if I'm really tired, sick, or even on the rare occasion, had too much to drink, and I read until I come close to dropping the Kindle on my face. The only problem with that strategy is that now reading during the day makes me really sleepy.
 
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Being a people pleaser, one of the big lessons I've had to learn is to set healthy boundaries. This mainly applies to work. In the past, I've been so concerned with others' view of me or my job security that I would say "yes" to everything and doing everything I can to comply.

As I've gotten older and more secure in my talents, I'm much more comfortable being vocal when I see things I don't agree with (always in a positive way). Also, I'm less worried about losing my job because I didn't take a phone call or didn't respond immediately to an email. It's been good for me to see that you don't HAVE to do everything to keep your job.
 
A daily walk has done nothing but positive things for me

When I lived closer near the square in Madison I would walk to about everything including some of the east side festivals in the summer, etc.

Friends would think I was crazy that I walked the 20-30 minutes. Not only is it easier if I have a few beers (even with Uber), it slows everything down naturally.
 

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