Kids - School Grades
- Thread starter Jeremy
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Leading by example. Well done.
I do think for kids there is a ton of pressure on grades, getting into the best schools and programs that it is too much, and less than a great outcome can really weigh on kids.
Tried to get my oldest to scale back on APs and stuff. She had a brutal semester last year spending a good 3-4 hours on homework each night. In my opinion that's too much. You still need to be a kid. Since then she's scaled back on those accepted some A- and B+ now and then and is enjoying school and activities. Has some ADHD but has become very skilled at managing it.
Leading by example. Well done.
I do think for kids there is a ton of pressure on grades, getting into the best schools and programs that it is too much, and less than a great outcome can really weigh on kids.
Tried to get my oldest to scale back on APs and stuff. She had a brutal semester last year spending a good 3-4 hours on homework each night. In my opinion that's too much. You still need to be a kid. Since then she's scaled back on those accepted some A- and B+ now and then and is enjoying school and activities. Has some ADHD but has become very skilled at managing it.
I think my kids don't have aspirations of getting into the best schools and stuff. They both just kind of want to go ISU or Iowa and have a good life. And you should be challenging yourself but not burning yourself out. It's a hard balance to strike which is why you just need to talk to them about it.
My kids do a ton of activities. I mean a ton. To the point where I want them to do less stuff but they keep wanting more. So the she is on the other foot for me. I just wanted to sit and home and play Zelda and Madden so I just can't be too picky about anything.
Who are always the AEA people and education professors in college, women. They teach how they would learn. Boys and girls minds do vary.
The new math makes less sense to boys than the old way, but girls seem to pick up on it quicker. Just an example.
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Is this a scientific thing or a "feels like" thing?
I've only had two jobs, but both had a GPA requirement. But one was a government contractor and one was government.
I’ll likely expect A’s. But I’m not going to freak over B’s if the effort is there.
I agree with some on here that school in general is a joke, but the work habits & kindness to others are more important to learn right now.
I actually had a stern discussion with my now 4th grader last year about his effort in math. Brought home lots of mistakes on his worksheets. I just asked if he was really, REALLY trying his best. He admitted he probably wasn’t. I asked him to try for one week and we’d get ice cream. I don’t think he missed more than one math question per week for the rest of the year.
I’ll only expect A’s because I’m almost certain my kids should be able to handle it for most classes. Especially through high school, good grades should be achievable if important soft skills like effort & organization are practiced.
I agree with some on here that school in general is a joke, but the work habits & kindness to others are more important to learn right now.
I actually had a stern discussion with my now 4th grader last year about his effort in math. Brought home lots of mistakes on his worksheets. I just asked if he was really, REALLY trying his best. He admitted he probably wasn’t. I asked him to try for one week and we’d get ice cream. I don’t think he missed more than one math question per week for the rest of the year.
I’ll only expect A’s because I’m almost certain my kids should be able to handle it for most classes. Especially through high school, good grades should be achievable if important soft skills like effort & organization are practiced.
I’ve got to push back a big on this “school in general is a joke” you get out of education exactly what you put in. If you’re just going to school with no goal in mind then it gets rough but all education can provide value.
Also gotta give you props on the reward system. No idea what children’s psychologists would say but I’ve always had the reward system work from a personal and word of mouth perspective.
#1 get to really know the teachers. They will have a great perspective on whether your kid is picking up the subjects or not.
#2 if they need assistance then look within the school (paras) or outside (mathnasium)
#3 if they have the aptitude but are lazy, then you need to find motivations (carrots versus whips)
#4 it can help to progressively dig deeper into a discussion around goal setting (e.g., if you want to be a veterinarian, then you need to get into X. To get into school X, you need to take these classes and have Y GPA). They should be able to pick some of that up in 7th grade, but the big conversation needs to happen when they register for 9th grade classes.
#5 You will likely take their grades more personal than they will. You won't be the only parent going through that. It can be a struggle when you can see the potential that they aren't living up to; the best you can do is to help them understand that decisions have consequences.
Good Luck!
The “joke” to me is the amount of wasted time. Schoolwork, for most kids, can be completed in less than half the time kids are actually in school, and working ahead is not encouraged.
Just talk amongst parents who have both boys and girls and how the boys struggle early and through algebra one but then overtake the girls in math after that. So it is a small sample size and non scientific.
No idea where you are getting that idea but that’s what AP classes are for. If they are doing AP classes in half the time with a 4.0 have them test out and take college courses through a local cc.
I do agree there is wasted time but that’s more for the classes taught than actual learning.
Also talk to the teacher about working ahead, if they are getting a 4.0 and not disrupting the class it shouldn’t be an issue. I did all my work in other classes but can accept it if time has changed.
I don’t know about the math specific part but there are studies about gender bias favoring girls in K-12
Education is not based on individual ability and generally is set for the people in the 35-50% range early on. Special needs students are now left in class with an aid instead of being separated to be one on one somewhere else. They largely become a distraction for the other students but the state requires them to be integrated.
Ever went to parent teacher conferences? I’ve talked to other dads and we generally get ignored in them until the end when they ask any questions and then look at the dad. My info is the primary contact info but they always email my wife about everything.
Depending on the school there are probably many advanced options for kids that need or want it.
To clarify, I mean the way we go about teaching is a joke. It never seems to evolve with the goal of teaching kids important skills.
To further clarify, I'm not ragging on teachers. I'm being critical of the system.