If You Can't Laugh at Yourself... Pre-Holiday Humor

[djkent01]

I've had a bizarre week. Almost everything that could go wrong... did. But last night topped it off and I've been laughing about it all day.

BACKSTORY: I bought an old house last year. It had on old toilet that went swirl swirl swirl and then slowly and weakly flushed. Totally ineffective. My SO said she was giving me a ****** present for my birthday - and showed up with a new toilet that does this kind of power flush. So I installed it.

So last night I go to the bathroom. I lean over to flush the toilet and right after I push the handle my glasses fall off my head. So there I am, pants unzipped, hands flying all over the place trying to keep them from falling in the toilet - and I kept them alive for several seconds - but in the end they fell. And not only that, they folded up perfectly, fell directly to the bottom of the basin, and the power flush sucked them straight down!!!!!

I stood there - zipper down - like WTF!!! What the hell just happened?!?!?!?! I wish I had video because I would really have loved to see the look on my face.

After about half an hour of trying everything I could to snake them out I gave up. They're GONE into the depths somewhere. Then I realized my pants were still unzipped.

So today I'm wearing these old black plastic rimmed glasses my SO also picked out for me a while back - I think to try to make me look eccentric or intelligent. It didn't work. But I'm starting to think that woman is the problem.

Anyway... Happy Holidays everyone!!!

 

[brycy]

I have been told if you really hate someone flush a plastic fork down their toilet. It supposedly won't make the bend. Next deuce they drop won't go down. Have you dropped one yet? They might be stuck in the trap.

 

[djkent01]

I have been told if you really hate someone flush a plastic fork down their toilet. It supposedly won't make the bend. Next deuce they drop won't go down. Have you dropped one yet? They might be stuck in the trap.

Hahahahahaha!!!! I'm actually really worried about exactly that. I have my kids and grandkids and family coming for the holidays - and am in the process of adding bathrooms to the master and basement. But right now it's my only bathroom and it's a catastrophe in the making.

What I can tell you is the facility has been used and I go in about every 30 minutes and flush the damned thing to make sure it's still working... I'm quite sure my glasses are down in the bowels somewhere (pun intended) and hopefully they don't cause major problems. But I'm pretty sure they're not anywhere in the first couple of feet...

 

[NetflixAndClone]

during my 21st birthday I lost my glasses. I had a dream that I was so drunk that I flushed them down the toilet and I ended up convincing myself I actually did that.

Turns out they were under the car seat that I rode back home in and I found them a few weeks ago. Now I have a backup pair.

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

during my 21st birthday I lost my glasses. I had a dream that I was so drunk that I flushed them down the toilet and I ended up convincing myself I actually did that.

Turns out they were under the car seat that I rode back home in and I found them a few weeks ago. Now I have a backup pair.

I lost my glasses long ago when extremely wasted. Shocked I didn't die from alcohol poisoning. Found them under the couch cushions about a year later. Lucky I still had my old pair.

 

[urb1]

Last year, almost to the day, I brought my wife home from the hospital after surgery. On her dresser was a Ziploc bag that contained her wedding ring since she had to take it off during surgery.

We never saw it again. She did not even remember coming home, and to this day, I swear she threw the Ziploc away not knowing the ring was in it. Either that, or she put it somewhere "safe". She still thinks we'll find it.