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Lets hear the jokes !

MSPClone210

MSPClone210

Active Member
Jul 8, 2013
209
28
28
Minneapolis
Need some good material to provide during the game tonight. I will be watching with 3 fellow ISU almus...and one hawk. Thankfully we got the numbers!
 
Just ask him to tell you about the Hoks players. If he's like most fans he'll be able to name a couple but then will fumble over is own tongue the rest of the way. Just sit back and reel in the laughs at that point.
 
Or ask which small town bar they watch all the other Hawk games at?

Or how many scratch tickets they had to buy before they got a winner to afford the tickets to this game...
 
During his pregame, Gary Dolphin asks Fran why his ears are bandaged. Fran tells Gary that when he was ironing his shirt his cell phone rang and he accidently put the iron to his right ear. Gary asks what happened to his left ear. Fran says it was burned when he went to dial 911.
 
During an interview Fran says that Iowans and America will just warm to his team. When asked why, he said because they all have faces only a mother could love.
 
These are great! Keep em coming!

Got a few texts from my father in-law (fellow hawk fan):

"Does Iowa State even have a player from the state of Iowa? I thought they were all from San Quenton..."
"All transfers from the dept of corrections..."

I had to use the NIT joke, that was perfect!
 
A farmer in Johnson County was working his cattle one day when he heard faint music coming from nearby. After hunting about for a time, he discovered the sound was loudest near one particular calf, and was even louder near the calf's tail. Putting his head close to the calf's hind end, he heard the University of Iowa fight song.

Amazed, he put the calf in the truck and drove the animal to a veterinarian in Ames. When the vet asked him what was going on, the farmer told him. The vet went around behind the calf and gave a listen too. He agreed he heard the University of Iowa fight song but didn't seem particularly excited.

"Man, how can you stand there and not be amazed?" the farmer asked.

The vet, a third generation Iowa State graduate, said, "Bud, I'm a Cyclone fan, and I've been listening to @$$holes sing that song all of my life."
 
A Hawk fan and a Cyclone fan walk into a bar, both order a beer. The Cyclone fan drinks his beer, the Cyclone fan beats the **** out of the Hawk fan and steals his beer, the Cyclone fan drinks the Hawks beer...
 
A couple of eighty something year olds decided to get married She was a smuckeye fan and he was bugeater fan. They went to a nice motel in Omaha for their honeymoon. That afternoon they were relaxing by the pool. He decided to take a swim got in and swam 10 laps. He got out and she was amazed. How did you learn to swim like that? He replied I was on the college swim team. So she gets in and swims 20 laps. He is amazed and ask her how did you learn to swim like that? She says nothing to it I used to be a hooker in Council Bluffs and worked both sides of the river.
 
A Hawkeye fan, a Cyclone fan and a Panther fan all go into the men's restroom at the same time. When finished, the Hawkeye uses a lot of soap and water to wash his hands and then uses a lot of paper towels to dry them. When the Cyclone and Panther look at him, he explains "At Iowa we were taught to be clean!" The Cyclone then uses the minimum amount of soap and water to wash his hands and then uses the air dryer to dry his hands. When the Hawk and Panther look at him, he says "At Iowa State we are taught to be clean AND to respect the environment!" The Panther then walks by the Hawkeye and Cyclone and as he goes out the door he says "At UNI we were taught not to pee on our hands!"
 
A Cyclone fan was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a Hawkeye cheerleader eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked the Hawkeye cheerleader. "I don't have any money for food," the she replied.
"Oh, please come to my house!" "But sir, I have other cheerleader friends..." "Bring them along!" the Cyclone fan said. They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the Hawkeye cheerleader said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in." The Cyclone replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!â€￾
 
Knight78 said:
A Hawkeye fan, a Cyclone fan and a Panther fan all go into the men's restroom at the same time. When finished, the Hawkeye uses a lot of soap and water to wash his hands and then uses a lot of paper towels to dry them. When the Cyclone and Panther look at him, he explains "At Iowa we were taught to be clean!" The Cyclone then uses the minimum amount of soap and water to wash his hands and then uses the air dryer to dry his hands. When the Hawk and Panther look at him, he says "At Iowa State we are taught to be clean AND to respect the environment!" The Panther then walks by the Hawkeye and Cyclone and as he goes out the door he says "At UNI we were taught not to pee on our hands!"
Click to expand...


It's always fun to hear about a hawkeye in a bathroom....cough cough metrodome cough
 
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